So I thought I had figured myself till now. But I was clearly wrong…
So the last few days have been incredibly confusing as I reflected on my gender identity. I’m definitely a boy, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to go by any pronouns except he/him. The they/she stuff simply isn’t me.
I don’t want to dress up in a feminine manner (I don’t think I would be comfortable in skirts and thigh highs and what not…). Like… I haven’t tried that yet, but I really doubt I would be much interested in it. I like my current wardrobe.
HOWEVER, I want a feminine-ish body. Like… not boobs or anything. I find boobs quite repulsive. BUT I would definitely love to have a more feminine butt/dick. I like tucking, WHILE loving my dick.
I hate body hair/facial hair. The only place that I like hair on is my head. And while my hair is long-ish, it isn’t girl-like long. Like… the intention is not to look like a girl.
I dunno, it’s weird I suppose… Here’s one way to put it. If estrogen didn’t give me boobs, I would LOVE to take it. I would love to have a higher voice, better head-hair, and a girlier butt and dick. BUT I would still identify as a male while being in male-like clothes.
What the hell am I? I’m definitely not trans. I don’t think I’m a femboy, as I would hate doing makeup/wearing skirts n stuff. I’m so confused.
Oh, and I’m gay if that’s relevant.
Some might, others don’t. The important thing is that with the billions of people on the planet there are plenty of other people who do.
You are not alone.
Yeah, but is there a name for ppl like myself? The nbs have their communities, the trans ppl have their communities. What community do I join to explore this more? This is why I am interested in seeing if there is a category in which I belong so that information about this can be formalised a little more.
This might be terminally Gen-X of me and Dan, but I’ll paraphrase what he said in Savage Love several years ago: It’s unwieldy to slice&dice gender and sexual expression into ever-smaller, narrower categories. Not every permutation needs a name and a flag. We can just be cis-men with non-stereotypical behavior or aesthetic preferences.
Yea I suppose so. But if I want non-booby growing estrogen, do I still qualify as cis? That’s the problem with me rn. I was unable to figure this out, which is where ppl here (mainly knightly@pawb.social) helped me with. I think I might be some sort of nb. I’ll definitely need to look into it a lot more to be sure ofc.
First, finding a group can be a way to discover more about yourself and I don’t want to discourage you from doing so.
That said, I don’t know because I can’t keep up the groups and also think that people tend to look to groups to ‘fill in the blanks’ about themselves instead of using the group to help feel more comfortable about themselves. Seeking out a category to belong to sounds a bit like trying to find a group that will tell you who you are instead of looking for a place where you can be more comfortable being yourself.
You can always try a larger group/community that sounds close enough and is accepting, because it is possible that there is no group that is exactly what you are looking for or if it does it can be really hard to find. Non-binary seems like it could be a great starting point because not conforming to gender stereotypes covers a lot of different possibilities. Non-binary people doesn’t mean they don’t dress and act like binary people, just that they don’t accept that everyone must be binary.
Non-binary people doesn’t mean they don’t dress and act like binary people, just that they don’t accept that everyone must be binary.
Woah I didn’t know this abt the nb community.
There was another nb person in the comments who were similar to me in this context. I would definitely be checking out the nb community.
