So I thought I had figured myself till now. But I was clearly wrong…
So the last few days have been incredibly confusing as I reflected on my gender identity. I’m definitely a boy, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to go by any pronouns except he/him. The they/she stuff simply isn’t me.
I don’t want to dress up in a feminine manner (I don’t think I would be comfortable in skirts and thigh highs and what not…). Like… I haven’t tried that yet, but I really doubt I would be much interested in it. I like my current wardrobe.
HOWEVER, I want a feminine-ish body. Like… not boobs or anything. I find boobs quite repulsive. BUT I would definitely love to have a more feminine butt/dick. I like tucking, WHILE loving my dick.
I hate body hair/facial hair. The only place that I like hair on is my head. And while my hair is long-ish, it isn’t girl-like long. Like… the intention is not to look like a girl.
I dunno, it’s weird I suppose… Here’s one way to put it. If estrogen didn’t give me boobs, I would LOVE to take it. I would love to have a higher voice, better head-hair, and a girlier butt and dick. BUT I would still identify as a male while being in male-like clothes.
What the hell am I? I’m definitely not trans. I don’t think I’m a femboy, as I would hate doing makeup/wearing skirts n stuff. I’m so confused.
Oh, and I’m gay if that’s relevant.
Sounds like you’re a regular person with thoughts and preferences for how your body looks, like all people. Don’t think it’s about being trans, sorry to disappoint. Just my 2 cents though.
Oh yeah, I’m definitely not trans for sure. About the rest, I dunno… Like… Do my male friends think stuff like this too?
Some might, others don’t. The important thing is that with the billions of people on the planet there are plenty of other people who do.
You are not alone.
Yeah, but is there a name for ppl like myself? The nbs have their communities, the trans ppl have their communities. What community do I join to explore this more? This is why I am interested in seeing if there is a category in which I belong so that information about this can be formalised a little more.
I think a lot of people have desires for their body that they don’t meet. I certainly do.
But as far as your post: sounds like you’re a cis gay dude and you’re pretty certain about that. That’s about as many labels as you’re probably going to strictly need for most interactions. Though I can’t speak to the gay community as far as labels go.
You also don’t necessarily have to use the femboy label or dress differently to be more feminine in a way you want to. Hope that helps.
Perhaps… I just met a nb person in the comments who seemed to have a similar-ish experience. They go by all pronouns. I didn’t know you could do that while being nb!!!
I think I relate with their experience a lot more. Welp, I know what I’ll be reading about the next few days! Let’s see what comes out of it I suppose
Smooth, small, doesn’t get that hard.
Purpose - More leaky while being fucked rather than getting hard to fuck.
I wouldn’t know, but I hear that cis guys are generally uncomfortable with being feminine.
But I’m not uncomfortable having “feminine mannerisms”. Like… I’m just not a girl.
You might be non-binary, keep in mind you can still use he/him while being non-binary. Gender has no rules, be whoever you want and use whatever pronouns feel best.
Wow, I wasn’t aware of this!!! That sounds liberating honestly… I’m definitely gonna be exploring what being nb means now…
Generally we use Enby or Non-binary since NB is used to mean Non-Black which is more of a POC thing.
But there’s no harm in a little self exploration. Non-binary is generally under the trans umbrella since the general meaning of trans has to do with not feeling like body and gender are aligned. Agender for instance is still not aligned with the physical sex of a person so someone who hold that they have no gender, fluid gender or multiple genders are still trans… but there are people in our communities who feel like the word trans doesn’t resonate and they identify as non-trans non-binary. Sometimes the more loose term “genderqueer” is applied to mean this type of the middle ground. There’s a flag and everything.
Btw the whole voice thing has more to do with vocal training than estrogen. Estrogen doesn’t actually change your voice. If you want to get started “Voice Feminization training” is where to start. https://youtu.be/BfCS01MkbIY?si=cs_FxCA13ZwkNoNI Hairless faces are also not an estrogen thing. That is usually achieved via electrolysis or laser hair removal… It takes a while to achieve but the hair lightens by degrees.
There are also cosmetic surgeries to enhance certain features without relying on horomones to do the job for you. These things are generally stigmatized by wider society but it is an option for a more targeted transition.
Estrogen will change your metabolism and fat distribution to be more in line with phenotypic female presentation but looking beyond sex as a binary you start seeing that there are plenty of phenotypic female folk out there without big butts, belly folds or boobs. Genderqueerness is all about mix and match, doing what you want. The tech is there for everyone who wants it.
Bro, you’re uraniumblazer. You don’t need a label to be yourself.
How do you feel about just being queer? More and more it’s becoming an ambiguous term for people that don’t clearly fit into any other category. It would give you the freedom to define yourself however you want without worrying about ‘fitting in.’
The other option is to kinda just makeup your own term. Obviously that will make it hard to find others exactly like you but I don’t think that is strictly necessary. I think you could relate to a lot of different identities within the LGBT community.
Ultimately though, I think people tend to focus too much on labeling and grouping themselves. Who cares what ‘label’ you have, just focus on what makes you feel like you. To quote Schitts Creek, ‘Like the wine, not the label.’
Very true!
But there are also benefits that come from having a label, like being able to find community or role models in the folks who share it.
I’m still searching for something more specific than “nonbinary” which fits well. “Androgyne” is the closest I’ve got, but it was enough to lead me to tittyboy chatrooms where I met another trans amab enby like me for the first time.
No matter how weird we might be, there’s always similar folks out there we can relate to. Finding one’s tribe can grant a feeling of belonging that is in desperately short supply for unusual folks. 😺
You’re based
