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23 points

“Yes, I worship the majestic mother, bringer of life, she who brings all colours into the world. No, I don’t feel inclined to tell you her name.”

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10 points

You’d be a great addition to our spring fertility festival. Would you be able to bless the virgins as they leap over a bonfire?

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10 points

“I would like to apologise for my actions during the recent spring fertility festival. While I hope we can agree that the virgins stumbling and falling into the bonfire was nobody’s fault, I should have taken greater actions to save them. Indeed, it was far too soon for me to open my arms to the flames, offer their pure souls to the quint-coloured mother and beg her eternal blessing. It was an inappropriate time for funerary rites. I hope you can forgive me.”

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1 point

Meanwhile the village idiot is being flogged for heresy for daring to suggest that the prayer this stranger priest was chanting moments before his sister tumbled into the fire may have been responsible.

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