People and their kids like to come over unannounced, and without permission, to look at my ducks like it’s the fuckin zoo or some shit.
Need some humor for this situation to ease my frustration
My joke answer is to directly tell them that they are not allowed to come on your lawn, to not let their kids do the same, and that it’s your property, not a zoo.
This way you’ll guarantee that your house is egged often enough that some of the eggs may not break, and some subset of those could be adopted by the ducks and hatched into baby birds that the kids also won’t be able to come look at.