People and their kids like to come over unannounced, and without permission, to look at my ducks like it’s the fuckin zoo or some shit.
Need some humor for this situation to ease my frustration
You’re looking at this wrong way.
Buy a gumball machine.
Put on fence.
Fill machine with enough feed for the day.
Charge other people to feed your ducks
Obvious answer is to give the kids ducklings for every visit. Pressuring kids parents to stop their kids coming over without permission. Unless they want to own duck pets.
Get some thick over sized glasses that are that transparent brown colour on the rims, grow a thin but dirty moustache, only wear faded pastel tops and short stained shorts that are 1 or 2 sizes to small, ALWAYS show your belly, make sure to be overly friendly but never blink when making eye contact, sooner or later they’ll all leave your house alone.
Nonchalantly execute the ducks in front of the kids. You’ll also be supporting your local youth therapists job security.
Put up a sign that says, “Pursuant to ordinance 347-1236, a sexual predator resides here”
That makes it sounds like it’s legally mandated for there to be a sexual predator there. When the house gets sold, do the new owners now have to go and molest someone??
