Similarly, even though most cars with cruise control have a cancel button, I always cancel via a gentle tap of the brake pedal instead. Quick flash of the brake lights to let people know I’m about to slow down.

Same here

I heal-toe, so I’m pressing the brake as I’m engine braking. But I think I’ve read somewhere that newer manuals actually will turn on the brake light on heavy deceleration via engine brakes, I just don’t know firsthand because every very I’ve owned has been old as shit. Ditto with electric cars that have aggressive regen braking.

I beleive that should be common practice when down shifting to slow because it’s not much different from braking without any brake lights. However, I’ve come to also trigger the lights even when coasting down in top gear. The slightly harder engine braking in a manual, even in top gear, combined with the increase of distractions, has me concerned about the same thing as you.