219 points
  1. Meet woman, don’t be weird.

  2. Gradually build a loving, trusting relationship.

  3. She has to get surgery and she’ll be bed-bound while she recovers.

  4. “Will you take care of me, Anon?”

  5. Lord of the Rings marathon. The director’s cuts. She can’t run.

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90 points

The long setup. “Babe, you agreed to stay in sickness and in health. This is my sickness.”

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26 points

Narrator: But she didn’t stay.

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31 points

She died during the Battle of Helm’s Deep

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33 points

Just do old school style and read her the Silmarillion.

Make sure to get the annotated version.

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11 points

Return of the King was the first and only movie I’ve seen that had an intermission. Keep in mind this was only the theatrical version!

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6 points

Then go see 2001 A Space Odyssey. Wait until the IMAX release comes around.

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1 point

That movie is like taking 500 quaaluds

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Anon needs Jellyfin.

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I prefer NGINX with autoindex. Lightweight, no JavaScript, looks like every Linux ISO mirror, filenames already have all the required info, can be quickly searched with CTRL+F, fits perfectly to my laziness.

If you want some improvement, you can use FancyIndex module.

But the files need to be in codecs supported by your browser(s). I prefer AV1+Opus in WebM container which have been supported by Firefox for a while. At this point it’s really only Safari not fully supporting AV1 because it relies on hardware decoding and Apple wants you to buy new hardware.

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41 points
*

Sorry, your favorite media server is just files you play on a browser?

I mean, not shaming, I just had never heard of that being preferable to Plex/Emby/Jellyfin.

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13 points

Kinda based tho tbh

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Yeah, I am too lazy to set up something like Jellyfin. It only makes sense for me with music, for which I use Navidrome. But again, my setup is mostly directory/filename based, so it’s really being carried with m3u playlists as opposed to proper metadata.

I mean, maybe I’ll use Jellyfin if I’ll do something in a proper way, but currently I don’t see the point of it. And anyway, I can always copy the URLs to VLC, which will even accept DVD ISO files.
e.g.:

vlc --no-dvdnav-menu http/dvdnav://192.168.49.1:8080/media/ISOs/Interstellar.iso

let’s me play entire copy of a DVD, properly with menus and bonus features, just as if I used the DVD directly.

Although I don’t do this anymore because of storage limitations, but I’ll likely return back to it once I’ll have a proper media server and LAN.

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9 points

That’s absolutely ridiculous. I’m into it.

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8 points

The biggest issue with that is it requires all of your media to be in a flat folder for search to work right.

Auto index has a mode to return results in json. With a touch of html and js you can make a page that will crawl the directory tree and build a simple searchable cache of name to path, and then you can play it from there. It ends up making a request per folder, but in realistic terms it’s not gonna be enough to actually be noticable.

You can then use something like this on a cron to convert anything your browser can’t play and you’re pretty close to a minimalist media server with only static files.
The one I used to use was just a bash script so I didn’t have to wrangle python modules, but I can’t seem to find it.

I ended up dropping it when I bought a nas with all that stuff built in and it generally made my life easier. Worth the money if you can afford it.

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1 point

Do you just remember where you are in every show (or movie that you only partway watched)? That’s the biggest appeal of jellyfin/plex to me, so I can go in and continue from where I left off without keeping track.

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130 points

Amateur. You set this up ahead of time.

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15 points
*

When you’re torrenting and you’re planning to watch with someone else, you decide what you’re watching at least eight hours in advance, preferably a day. Radarr can’t find stuff instantaneously, assuming the automated search finds it at all, and torrents can take hours to finish, plus leaving time to resolve technical mishaps with your *arr stack, like the VPN being dead. If you and the person you wanna watch with aren’t going to be in the same room, you’ll have to set aside even longer in order to transcode it into a format a browser can play at a bitrate that’s low enough to stream, and load it into your HTTP server so that Cytube can play it. Ideally you’d block out some time to test and troubleshoot Cytube too.

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6 points

I have none of these issues, but I use Usenet soo…

Honestly though if push comes to shove Stremio and RealDebrid can work wonders provided your internet is actually fast enough.

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2 points

Another vote for usenet. Somewhat less accessible than torrents but worth the effort and money.

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4 points

Or just have a VPN on and go to fmovies or whatever to stream it for free since you’re already on a laptop with connection anyways.

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2 points

This is a great example of why Netflix is still so profitable.

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2 points

Most popular movies have enough seeders to finish in 20 minutes where I live.

But if I were in OP’s shoes, I would just turn to streaming and forego the slightly better quality.

The movie isn’t the most important thing at that point.

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1 point

OP doesn’t pay for streaming on the hypothetical (because we all know this isn’t a real story lol).

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0 points
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Deleted by creator
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124 points

Yeah my ex wife initially made fun of my server with my Plex media on it…

Guess what she wanted after our divorce? That’s right Plex.

If she scoffs at your media setup she’s wrong for you.

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40 points

My ex told me she never ever wanted to talk to me ever again, ever!

Next week she texted me asking access my plex server.

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96 points

torrent ahead of time?

anon is a dumbfuck.

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34 points

You can also press one button to configure a torrent to download first and last, allowing you to play a video while it streams in.

Anon can’t even torrent right, she just got scared that he’d be too stupid to put on the condom right.

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