73 points

Finally a return to traditional values!

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55 points

When men were men, girls were girls, and they both raped anyone younger than them to demonstrate their prowess and strength.

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38 points

And priests could show little boys the light of religion is found through their butthole!

…wait, that still happens…

Ah well. Some things never change I guess.

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16 points
*

Ah yes, traditional values where citizens* can be classified as Penetrator or Penetrated

*qualifications apply

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57 points

Nothing better when you’re wrestling your buddy nude and all greased up and you fall and their dick accidentally goes in your butthole but you wouldn’t be a very good buddy if you stopped.

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21 points

Gotta take one several for the homies. No homie left behind.

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2 points

Butt many in mine

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14 points

Good luck getting through these shitlocks, buster

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6 points
*

Fuck, thanks for that mental image

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38 points
*

That athlete in the background just getting hit in the balls with a long stick - what sport is that?

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33 points

Where did you grow up where you didn’t play stickballs?

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9 points

Is this the same game as ballsticks?

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14 points

He’s not part of the Olympics. That’s just what he’s into

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10 points

Greeks didn’t kink shame this sort of thing.

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7 points

That’s fencing right? They have protective equipment now.

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31 points

And those aren’t even the contestants

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22 points

I think we should resolve cheating concerns by banning technology at the Olympics. No drugs, no prosthetics, no shoes, no clothes, no cooked meals. Once you arrive at the Olympic village, it’s nuts and berries in the nude until the ceremony is over.

You can have access to whatever technology is absolutely necessary for the sport, like guns if the sport is shooting.

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18 points

like guns if the sport is shooting.

Why can’t they just throw the bullet with their bare hands as god intended?

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4 points

That would probably require some insane bone and muscular structure.

Out of scientific curiosity and for fun, I’m really eager to know now how humans would have to be like biologically/physically in order to throw a bullet with velocities comparable to contemporary weapons. 🤔

Anyone bored enough to answer that?

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2 points

If you can’t do it, you just don’t want it enough yet!

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2 points

This is basically my hot take about sport! Minus the being lost in the woods. All these bullshit events where you bring your on horse is not a sport.

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3 points

Here’s my hot take. Disclaimer: I’m not saying any of these don’t require any skill.

No sport that isn’t objective or purely human should be allowed in the Olympics. No horse dancing, or horse jumping, no skateboarding, or gymnastics, etc etc.

I would be fine with skateboarding if it was objective stuff like who can ramp off the furthest or who can do X amounts of spins in x time and same for gymnastics. Wrestling should be purely on who can knock out/pin the opponent for x time and not have any technical subjective points.

Again, I’m not saying any of these shouldn’t be allowed to exist or that they aren’t impressive/difficult. If it’s gonna be a competition about whose the best human on the planet for something it needs to be objective with no room for argument. It’s always the subjective sports that people have complaints about, usually about the judges not scoring correctly.

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