186 points

Dude can’t build cars that don’t fall apart when they get wet, and can’t build a truck that doesn’t fall apart for uh, existing, and we’re supposed to let him stick stuff in our brains?

No, thanks, but no.

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107 points
*

Let’s not forget an important distinction here. This man is not making any of these things, and he isn’t capable of making them. But, he is capable of directly and indirectly impacting the people who are capable of making them negatively enough that we get utter failures like the cybertruck.

Don’t give him more credit than he deserves.

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34 points
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Also important:

This tech has been around for about 25 years already, first success was 1998…

Johnny received his implants in March 1998. During a 12-hour operation, Bakay inserted the electrodes, housed in two glass cones, into the area of Johnny’s cortex that controls left-hand movement. Once the cones were implanted, the doctors believed that axons – parts of the brain cell that transmit electrical impulses – would grow through them. When an impulse passed along an axon, it would be intercepted by tiny gold contacts and transmitted through the electrodes. ‘‘Axons are really like telephone lines,’’ Kennedy explains. ‘‘We’re just diverting the lines and eavesdropping on the call.’’

The hope was that by imagining he was moving his paralyzed left hand, Johnny would cause an increase in electrical impulses passing among the neurons there. These impulses could then be transmitted by the implanted electrodes to a receiver placed on Johnny’s pillow, and from there, the analog brain signals could be translated into digital commands that Johnny’s computer could understand. In theory, by controlling the frequency with which the neurons in his motor cortex fire, Johnny could move a cursor up or down, left or right on his screen.

https://www.nytimes.com/2000/06/11/magazine/tech-2010-07-brainpower-making-contact-the-mind-that-moves-objects.html

Musk is just paying people to miniaturize existing tech and is using marketing to make people believe he’s personally inventing it

The bad part is his absolute disregard for basic lab safety and pretty much any other regulation.

It’s like how SpaceX doesn’t care how many rockets explode, Musk probably views early adaptors as sacrificial lambs.

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4 points

the strategy of sacrifical ginney pigs is good for progress, bad for ethics.

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20 points

Oh for sure: Musk can barely make a shitpost on Twitter, let alone actually do anything else.

But, conversely, he’s in a position to dictate culture and policy and direction and that’s led to shitty cars and whatever the fuck is going on at Twitter.

Aaaand yes, past performance is not a predictor for future outcomes, but uh, somehow I don’t think it’s irrelevant either.

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16 points

Don’t give him more credit than he deserves.

Banks should have listened to this when he wanted a loan to buy twitter.

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10 points

Why are you saying “No, thanks, but no” when you could be saying “FUCK NO! GET OUTTA HERE WITH THE GARBAGE!”

You can even add a jersy accient if you want to be extra fun in your telling elon to fuck off.

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5 points

I’d prefer a more New Yorker ‘HEY! My brain is working fine over here!’, personally.

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3 points

AY! I’M THINKIN’ 'ERE!!!

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7 points

Or rocket launch pads that don’t break the rocket launching/get destroyed on launch

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3 points

I ignored SpaceX because as far as things go, they’re pretty successful. Rockets blowing up and crashing during testing is pretty much just… a thing rockets do.

(And Shotwell is in charge far more than Spaceman Musk.)

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2 points

It’s more the issues and failures happen a lot more as soon as musk gets involved. Like the starship launchpad failure

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5 points

we’re supposed to let him

He won’t ask you.

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84 points

He should be an example and do it himself.

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18 points

Yeah that’s not going to happen.

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14 points

We can dream

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8 points

Not if that brain chip malfunctions.

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10 points

How crazy would it be tho if we found out he really was an early adopter, had one put it in a decade ago, and that’s why he’s so bat shit now?

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6 points

Did kanye west get one too?

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He absolutely will. Granted it’ll be after all the little kinks like meningitis, aluminum poisoning, spontaneous ignition, malicious hacking, eternal nightmare states, blindness, cancer, and cluster headaches are ironed out. 90% death rate, babyyy

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6 points

He should do the same with “flying to Mars” first.

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3 points

Both at the same time

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3 points

Just like colonization of Mars. He can go first, with or without others

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52 points
*

Day 1 after implantation: this is great! I now have photographic memory of everything! Best decision ever.

Day 20: I’ve memorized so much so fast, I’m going to have to go for the next higher up subscription level to unlock more storage.

Day 200: I’m running out of space again. Going for the plus subscription.

Day 600: ran out of storage space again. I can’t afford the next higher subscription. I’m going to have to start deleting unnecessary memories. My brain has lost its natural ability to make and retain memories by itself. I can’t even function on a daily basis without free storage space.

Day 700: I have run out of memories that I’m willing to part away with. I still can’t afford the higher subscription. Luckily there is a cheaper tier. All I have to do is give NeuraLink full access and rights over my memories for marketing and AI training purposes.

Day 900: They have increased the cost of subscription. I can’t afford it. I’m going to lose half of my storage space. I have two days to choose which of my memories to keep. The rest will be no longer accessible to me, but will still be used by Neuralink for their own purposes as they own those memories now.

Day 1200: the chip will no longer be supported next month. I can’t afford the new model. It will be disabled in 30 days.

Day 1235: I have just found this diary. It explains a lot. I only wished it told me what my name is.

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25 points

You forgot the part where you agreed to let them harvest your organs if you fail to pay your subscription fees.

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15 points

Also, suddenly you’re unable to say negative things about Elon Musk for some reason.

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7 points

He hopes to woo advertisers back by beaming ads directly into your most treasured memories

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4 points

Well done, do you write for work/hobby?

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7 points

Nah, I’m just a bored guy on the internet

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5 points

Well kudos bored guy on the internet. It was a riveting read.

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1 point

Nah, I just follow orders

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2 points

So the plot of Johnny Mnemonic?

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51 points

Well I’d like to implant my foot in his ass so….

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0 points

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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49 points

The only dipshits stupid enough to get Musk implants will be the same dipshits who think vaccines have mind-control trackers.

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9 points

You say that as if there aren’t a ridiculous amount of those people.

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4 points

Then thinning out their numbers can’t be a bad thing.

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