So I met this girl by chance and we really hit it off, once I learned of her age I decided to just be friends as I think that 19 to 25 is an age were we mature a lot and I remember myself as a 19yo and I was not mature enough to be a good partner and to be good to myself.
I talked to a female friend of mine and she said that I’m over thinking it and that I should ask her out and be open minded, and so I did and we are going on a date soon.
The thing is, she seems really mature but I can’t put aside the age gap.
Am I over thinking it? Should I really just take it slow and just be vigilant about the situation and notice if this isn’t healthy for me or her?
Or should I let her down easy and continue as friends?
Update: We went on a date and it was great, I read all of the comments and there were some really good advices that I took to heart. I will take things slow and try to be as aware of the situation as possible. I hope it will go well :)
Thank you everyone!
Yes. It is wrong. The gap isn’t a big deal when you have both gotten to that mid 20s+, but who we are at 19 and 25 is vastly different. Please don’t date teenagers. Don’t make mental excuses to justify it. Take the compliment and move on.
I agree. I was in college at 19 and I would not have been able to grow as a person in the same way, if I had been dating a 25 year old at the time. You’re just at different stages of life at this point.
I’m not saying it’s impossible for this to work out well for some people. Clearly in the comments here it has, and I have friends with a greater age difference who are now happily married.
But in general, no I don’t think this is a good idea. If it was the same age gap but meeting later in life, no big deal. But a 19 year old is at a very different point in life than a 25 year old and she needs to be able to grow on her own outside of a relationship with an older person.
Half your age, plus seven. If you’re 25 that’s 12.5+7=19.5. You’re good to go.
Half your age + 7 is literally from a comedy movie. It’s not a hard and fast rule.
OP is full of shit. Maybe it was in a movie, but it’s not FROM a movie
Half your age plus seven is an unofficial rule of romance often credited to French author Max O’Rell (Léon Paul Blouet) in his 1901 love manual with the incredibly romantic title of Her Royal Highness Woman and His Majesty Cupid.
Check to see if there is a power differential here.
Are you an established adult with a Real Job and a nice apartment while she is struggling to figure out how to get out from under the thumb of her controlling family? Or is she happily making her own way in the world as a small farmer or boat salesperson or something while you have been futzing around painting skateboards and playing in a minor punk band?
Older people dating younger people can be wrong because it is easy for the older person to have too much power in the relationship. If you have something she really wants or needs that you can provide or withdraw at will or as a condition of the relationship, you should not date.
Wtfh why do you pretend like people can’t be nice if there is a power differential? A couple with a moderate power differential like you describe is only a problem if the powerful one decides to be a dick about it; it’s literally fine as long as they are a nice person and can commit to not taking advantage.
I guess there is some of that but I think that if I take it slow and let her be her own person outside the relationship (as we all should) it should be less of an issue
The fact that you are talking about "letting"her be her own person outside the relationship sort of implies that she might not have already figured out how to do that on her own.
People are right to wave red flags here, but are also right that it isn’t necessarily the age that is the potential problem.
Make sure she knows how to be an independent adult with her own career, hobbies, and motivations, or you get into unpredictable territory.
According to the universal dating age formula, (25/2) + 7 = 19.5, so I think you’re good. Anything less would be creepy.
