“Payed” is a nautical term, ya limp cucklet
Sounds like she dodged a bullet there.
I’m 40 and married yet I still get the cringe memory of when I was 20 and a girl I knew, took me to dinner, paid, and drove me home to celebrate my new job. Years later she told me she liked me and I never made a move at the dinner date. That was when I first realized it was a date and I blew it.
I still cringe at the memory
There is always that moment, for me its a girl who took my sunglasses home, because we were out drinking the night before, then invited me in for a beer when I went to pick it up, I was like, nah thanks had too much yesterday and left. To my defense though, I thought he had a longtime boyfriend whom I knew so I didn’t even think about her romantically, turns out they were broken up for a few months already. Well what you gonna do.
To be fair it’s kinda her fault for not stating her intentions clearly. Sure you could argue there was supposed to be some mind reading or unspoken social cues going on but we all know that’s not obvious enough. You were both young and inexperienced.
To be fair, I’m married and frequently misunderstand my SO, and it doesn’t help that they have a different native language. For example, when they say, “we’re out of X,” I take that as informative, not a request to go get more X. But sometimes I catch on, like this morning (WFH today) when they said, “are you busy?” (or similar) and I correctly interpreted that as “I want sex.” You win some and you lose some; sometimes I’m in the dog house, and other times I’m pounding out a quickie in the middle of the day.
Here, I’ll make a lot of you oblivious folk feel better about yourselves. I’ve been propositioned at a house sex party and I was still completely oblivious.
I once had a girl say “when am I going to get to feel that cock of yours inside of me?” and I somehow missed her intent.
I remember I was walking through a mall carrying a gift bag full of chocolates for my mom. It was one of those places that gives out those special types of gift bags so it was pretty obvious what I was carrying. I passed by one of those kiosks that sell phone cases and I heard the girl running the place call out to me. I politely waved at her and said “No, thank you.” And walked away. After I got out of the mall I realized the girl said “Oh, are those for me? You’re so nice!”
I thought she was trying to sell me something…
I can tell you from experience that there’s a 90% chance she absolutely was trying to draw you in to sell you something
I used to try to politely decline, now I just wave and say I’m not interested. If they try to change the script, “I’m not selling anything,” I just repeat myself and they get the hint. I used to feel bad, but then I realized it saves them and me some time, so I’m probably doing them a favor.
That’s a keen observation (whether true or not). It took me a long time to realize I wasn’t “hard-of-hearing”… I just couldn’t always figure out what was being said (literally having difficulty processing it). So I enjoy subtitles, to say the least
But still, very astute of you
thats because i experience that also, although it is not as severe as described in the wiki article.
the biggest problem ist getting to know people, if i am not used to them, their speech sometimes is so muddled, I always wondered what was up with them, why were the speaking as they had hot potatoes in their mouth?
turned out that if i get them to know more, their speech got clearer and clearer.
well, and ten years ago, I realized It is my own odamn fault, got my autism diagnosis. also got problems with orientation (like, in a town), discalculia, mistaking left and right, not remembering the same couple of words again and again. problems with specific names (i switch up syllables, Diana turns into Adina, Jana. Nadia, Dana. stuff like that), reversing number sequences (had to quit my industry mechanic school because of this, the measurements are important…), reversing left and right
and the absolute worst was driving alone on a road, nopbody around, i come up the the intersection, and I completely forgot wich side of the road I had to use. total blank. I could not say with which hand I write.
this went on for 30 seconds, then it came back to me.
quit driving because of this. oh, and I greatly misjudged speed and distance from the other cars. I was always driving mercedes automatics with sharp brakes, and turbo power, so i could relay on my brakes to stop, and on my engine to get away. drove automatic with tempomat and gps wa always on, that left my mind free to concentrate better on traffic.
it aws a nightmare. Once i stopped driving, I quit drinking as well.
I ride my bike now.
ps; once i startd treatment with ritalin, lyrics in music became so much clearer, I misheard so many thing, I had no idea.
oh, now you mentioned subtitles:
yeah, subtitles sometimes makes the audio clearer, you dont really have to read the subtitles, just glance a bit at them, and your brain will get the right directions ;-)
I think it got better and better though - as a kid, I resorted to lie that I was deaf on one ear, sou i could get people to repeat and repeat what they just said. still didnt get it sometimes, and just said “yes”, only to be exposed as an idiot once more.
couldn not even read the clock with the 12 numbers, the round mechanical type. learned it at age 13 at the trainstation, because I absolutely had to learn it. took me months from first really trying it.