I think the āoh, fuck, that was an invitation!ā moment several minutes/hours after the fact is one of the most universal moments.
Lifetimes. Because I havenāt had it yetā¦
(ok maybe I would if I talked to women in the first place)
One time a girl invited me to sleep with her, and I looked at her filthy pillowcases and bullshitted my way into sleeping on her couch, after countering her insistence with the extreme option of āif youāre not gonna let me sleep on your couch, Iām going home.ā
I thought she literally meant actual sleep, and what she wanted was sex.
I slept on her couch and she sobbed softly through a closed door.
I found out about a decade later, from a mutual friend, that girl had the biggest hots for me and was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me.
Well, she was stopped by my obliviousness.
I was ace and sex-repulsed even back then, so even if I had figured her out, I prolly would have had a small panic attack and tried to go home.
Yup. The first one I remember is a concert where I went to see the opener and didnāt much care for the main act. While I was on the floor during the opening act, I was next to a girl who seemed similarly enthused about that band. We definitely both noticed each other fangirling over this relatively unknown opening act. Then, afterward, I bumped into her on the balcony while the main act was playing, and sheās like āthese guys kinda suck right? I think Iām gonna head out and get a drink at $nearby_barā. And I totally missed the hint.
why canāt they just add a āwanna join meā to make it more clear lol
I just now realized this girl may have been interested in me 11 years ago. Later virgins.
Is it too late to make a move?
Basically this girl at work would come talk to me for no reason sometimes and I never really thought anything of it. One time she went to get coffee on her break and brought me some hot chocolate. One time she showed me gym pictures on her phone of I guess how good her booty looked from working out or whatever. I thought this was weird but she did indeed have a nice ass, I just didnāt want people to think Iām a weirdo so to me it was cringe as fuck. I think she straight up asked me out at least once but I remember always turning her down. One time she asked me if I wanted to go to an escape room with her and I turned her down because this wouldāve involved driving across town in 5pm traffic, fuck that.
Adhd drugs are a hell of a drug. Looking back, she was kind of my type. I have so many more stories like this and theyāre all just as cringe. I canāt help but wonder how my life would be different today if I hadnāt have spent my entire life so far fucking up every potential relationship.
When I was 19, a girl told me at a party that I was the coolest guy in school. I was just flattered by the compliment and when I told my girlfriend about it later she said āYeah she was totally hitting on youā.
I was like āNah! Her? No way!ā
Years later, I randomly thought about it and went āoh my god, she was hitting on me!ā
I know that this is a male pov but seriously that is also an L for the lady. Canāt be throwing hints and expect everyone to be Mr hint getter
Idk itās not really a hint, thatās pretty direct. If I were her Iād assume I got rejected.
This is not direct at all though. Direct is āmy shift is almost done, do you want to hang out later?ā. Being direct means you do actually have to include saying what you want.
Yeah, even when youāre 99% sure the person is flirting with you, you gotta balance that with what might happen if youāre wrong.
Read the situation wrong and you could end up handcuffed on the sidewalk with pepper spray in your eyes.
Fuck that. If not being willing to take that risk means dying alone, Iāll choose the latter.
And what about from the womanās perspective? Do you really want strange men making guesses about whether youāre flirting with them or not? Knowing exactly what could happen if the wrong guy gets the wrong idea and wonāt take ānoā for an answer?
Iām not trying to victim-blame or make excuses for anyone. But thereās nothing to win by playing these kinds of mind games, so whatās the fucking point?
In the context of a conversation about people who come in just before closing it could also just be taken as a hint that he is one of those people.
To be fair, it could have just as easily been:
āYou know, my shift is almost over (so I really want to pack my shit and get out of here)ā to which anon had a good response.
I have been specifically and repeatedly told women at work donāt want flirting or any other interpersonal interactions. So that shit is shut completely off when in public.
And thatās absolutely true! Until the one time itās not, and then itās your fault for not knowing.
TBF, I normally go by āoff limits unless they make an obvious moveā.
Which the cashier definitely did. Of course, like the OP I wouldnāt realize it till laterā¦
I also go by āoff limits unless they make an obvious moveā. Iāve never been in a relationship but maybe thatās a feature not a bug.
But was it an obvious move, or did you read too much into the friendliness theyāre paid to show all customers?
Without being there itās always a guess. But putting āYou knowā at the front like that is pretty damn explicit. She wasnāt just making a random comment. Thatās like movie trope obvious.
There are always outliers though, she could of had a brain fart, or he could have said something to make her believe he felt she was working late.
Thatās when you ask things plain and simple. One of my exes was the manager for a fast food joint and at the end of her shift, sitting at my table and kinda chatting away. At some point I simply asked her āso are we going back to your place to make sweet love after that, or what?ā with my french accent on full blast. It had the desired effect of making things clear.
I wish I had had the balls to do that more often in my life!
That is 100% me. Iāve had many friends tell me someone was into me but Iām usually oblivious. I never want anyone to feel awkward or intruded upon and basically never act on such opportunities. I would love to, but my mind is usually partitioned off on a half dozen other projects, and at least one big rabbit hole of a curiosity. I have the capacity to shift my attention, but it takes someone being quite forward or otherwise remarkable in ways beyond a casual encounter or simple looks to capture my attention in a way where I might take spontaneous initiative. Basically, every girl I encounter is like my sister on a platonic level unless I have a clear indication otherwise. All my long term relationships are from social encounters with friends of friends where over time I could tell there was clear chemistry. Just saying, if youāre a girl, being direct and forward is quite effective with some of us, especially the more quiet types.