47 points

I guess Aussies aren’t familiar with “Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime; that’s why I poop on company time”

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7 points

I lived this daily until I got a bidet, not worth it now

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29 points

The boss makes a dollar,

I make a dime,

That’s why I poo on company time

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12 points

Stolen from reddit:

The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime That was a poem From a simpler time

Now his boss makes 1000 While I make a cent And he’s got employees That can’t make the rent

When the CEO makes a million And we don’t make jack That’s when we riot To take it all back

Now Mr investor If this seems extreme I have to remind you It beats guillotines

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25 points

Tomorrow’s news: Amazon sues the Australian Health Department

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13 points

Nah, they’ll just make life more difficult for any employees who take bathroom breaks, if not find some “clearly unrelated” excuse to outright fire them.

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18 points

You should take a 20 minute shit every day on company time

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10 points

20 minute shit every *hour

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6 points

What about second shit?

Don’t think he knows about second shit, Pip.

What about elevenses? Shiteon? Afternoon shit? Shitter? He knows about them, doesn’t he?

I wouldn’t count on it.

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2 points

fistbump - Another member of the Ulcerative Colitis club.

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15 points

The only things I don’t like about pooping at work is when there’s no private restrooms or when they don’t have some sort of white noise in the bathrooms (in the case of public restrooms). Inevitably, there’s people who don’t care about shitting in the stall next to mine, which I absolutely hate, I don’t want to hear you shit. I only want to shit when nobody else is around or when the sound of a fan or something blocks out the noise. It’s like some sort of instinctual feeling. Otherwise, pooping at work is great.

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17 points

when they don’t have some sort of white noise in the bathrooms

Would it help if I sat next to you going “shhhhhhhhhh” as we poop together?

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6 points

I can sing the Blazing Saddles theme song pretty decent. Final offer.

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3 points

What about the theme to rawhide?

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11 points

Am I the only one who finds this kind of wild? You’re in the shit room, you shouldn’t expect others to be ashamed of their bowel movements there. Get earplugs, I guess?

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7 points

The worst is when people talk on their cell phones in the public restroom. No one wants to hear that on either end of the phone.

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1 point

Would playing white noise on your phone help?

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