Some of these guys make it seem like they have no prospects because they’re like 5’7 or whatever .

Do you actually feel this way?

Honestly myself im 6’1 and my 5’8 pal gets way more attention from women than me.

Of course thats anecdotal, but.

As someone that had the unique experience of gaining over 7.5cm or 3 inches in height after becoming an adult thanks to a surgery that “fixed” a spinal deformity, I have to say that I got treated noticeably better by strangers after getting taller, women and men. It’s like I automatically got treated with more respect. And it was an immediate thing too, while I was still recovering from surgery, underweight and walking like I had a board stapled to my back. Once I recovered further and gained weight and mobility, I got treated even better. And it wasn’t as if I was short before either, I went from around 177cm/178cm to 185cm barefoot, or 5’10 to 6’1 in imperial measurements.

So yes, at least in my experience, society is as shallow as you think, in fact it ended up being more shallow than I ever thought. Which is why I’ve found the whole thing surprising. I never expected to just get treated better because I got taller, that was never one of my issues or concerns. I wasn’t completely naive, I knew that I would get treated better by society if I didn’t have a visible spinal deformity thanks to all the bullying and unwanted comments I recieved on it, but I never expected height to play such a large role. It really changed my view on this, I always thought shorter people were exaggerating about stuff like this. Though the worst I’ve ever been treated in public is when I had to use mobility aids and my spinal deformity was visible no matter how baggy my clothes were. I got so many stares that could give you nightmares.

As for dating, I’ve always struggled with that, I’m bisexual and don’t really gel well with the heterosexual dating dynamic, traditional gender roles, etc. I never really dated that much before the surgery. I got a lot of unwanted comments about my posture from girls and women though. I do find that I get more attention now, but height is only a part of that. Not having a visible spinal deformity and being a healthy weight also plays a big role. But yes, height does play a part, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t. But for me the big difference hasn’t been in dating or attraction, but how people treat you in general.

Overall people are shallow, it’s not great but it is what it is and I can’t see that changing.

permalink
report
reply
38 points

Nah. I’ve never had any trouble dating due to my height, it’s always been my abhorrent personality that keeps people away.

permalink
report
reply
31 points

It is a real thing in dating sites and whatnot that many ppl won’t date below a stated height threshold, in that sense it does literally add difficulty. I have been told “x would never date you, you’re too short” on a couple occasions and some other weird remarks over the years. but generally people who are going to filter potential partners by height are generally to be avoided anyway imo

permalink
report
reply
28 points

When I was a teenager, I literally had girls literally tell me they liked me but that I was too short, or they’d date me if I was taller. It bothered me a lot but I didn’t get weird and bitter about it or anything. The average height of a woman in the US is 5’4" so I was still able to find plenty of partners shorter than me or the same height or even a little taller, and the older I get the less it matters. I just always think of Prince who was 5’2" and just about the sexiest human alive. The hardest part is not internalizing American society’s standards.

permalink
report
reply

I’m a transwoman so I’ve kind of turned being 5’3 back to my advantage

permalink
report
reply

askchapo

!askchapo@hexbear.net

Create post

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions.

Rules:

  1. Posts must ask a question.

  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

  4. Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you’re having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

Community stats

  • 1.7K

    Monthly active users

  • 2.2K

    Posts

  • 48K

    Comments