104 points

Of course. No way they are going to poison themselves without poisoning everyone else around them alongside.

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40 points

Dumbass is paying for my assassimation. Free is free

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5 points

You will be assassimated, resistance is futile.

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4 points

This guy knows how to finance

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71 points

You all simply don’t know the incredible sensation of a ninja poisoning your coffee right after sex.

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7 points

Was the ninja there before, during or after the sex? What exactly was his participation? Did he have ninja credentials?

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57 points

I don’t think there’s a smoker alive who doesn’t know it’s bad for them and a lot of them would like to quit. It’s a sad thing.

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44 points

Most smokers I’ve talked to get really defensive about it. “it’s not that bad! Sugar is worse for you! It’s not like you exercise or anything! I don’t smoke as much as so-and-so!”

It’s pathetic, really. I’d respect them more if they could just own “this is bad for me and everyone around me.”

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14 points

It’s probably a really painful thing to lot of them. It’s like someone defending being fat, they must know it’s unhealthy and have likely tried to do something about it, without success, so now someone mentioning it just causes them to be defensive. Of course there’s no passive diabetes so in that respect smoking is a lot worse since it affects others too.

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6 points

personal rant

“we’ve tried nothing, and we are all out of ideas” comes to mind

I had a relative who was a smoker; I’d visit and they would try to keep it out of sight, but everyone knew. As the years went on, it became more and more of a problem (financially and health), and many tried to push back and help, support, them. Fought like a child at every step. Fucking developed copd and still didn’t seem to give a fuck, wheezing and struggling with each breath, until just a couple of years before they died; when it was way too god-damn late to do shit about it.

I don’t want to sound like a heartless bastard, but some stupid fucks just won’t listen to any reason, and so they need to feel the consequences of their actions. This person would likely still be alive and in decent health, even years later, if they stopped being so fucking defensive/lying/deflective about it.

I get yeah it’s hard - I’m a fucking stroke ‘survivor’ who is suffering every day I’m alive, incapable of doing basic tasks and body control, stuck in the prison that is my own malfunctioned body and brain, so don’t go crying to me about how hard it is to do things - but you know what’s harder? Waking up in the morning when you’re dead.

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8 points

It’s a coping mechanism, and basically everyone with an addiction does it.

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5 points

Sugar is worse for you!

I’ve heard not uncompelling arguments to this effect. But I’m also not downing a 64oz big gulp every day.

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14 points
*

I don’t think there’s a smoker alive who doesn’t know it’s bad for them

I wish this was true. But I live in a country full of people who are more afraid of vaccines than horse roundworm drugs.

There’s still a rump base of Americans convinced climate change, seat belts, dinosaur bones, and warnings on cigarette boxes are an evil trick by the communists in government.

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1 point

Unfortunately the plan isn’t working. That rump of Americans are dying to slowly. /jk-ish

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4 points

Every single smoker I know says the same. Never start thus shit.

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3 points
*

There’s rarely a mutation that vastly increases healing/cleaning of lung tissue. They get quite old, despite smoking. What do i know, maybe somwhere around 1/100? Not the one-in-a-billion kind of rare.

Edit: guess it was this?

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37 points

The “you’ll feel worse and worse” part is pretty blatantly ignoring the endorphin rush that exists here. Like yes you may feel worse on the level, but it’s accentuated with moments of feeling pretty damn great, which seems disingenuous to ignore.

I’m not even a smoker, and I was happy as hell when I parents quit smoking, but let’s not pretend the choice is as simple as “poison or no poison” without any tangible upsides.

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10 points

I wonder if the artist used coffee for a reason?

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2 points

Perhaps, and I’ll admit this is overthinking a silly comic, but it seems to me that the coffee is a given assumption and it is only the addition of poison which is variable, so I think any implications of the coffee are entirely incidental

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41 points

Yeah but imagine if the ninjas also gave handjobs

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9 points

And then they slowly feel worse and die?

TIL, I’m a ninja

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5 points

Are we talking silky-smooth succulent hands, or those of a construction worker who doesn’t buy 30 grit sandpaper because he always carries his own brand?

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2 points

420 life

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