41 points

Stay strong brother, praying for a swift recovery.

/s

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28 points

Instructions unclear, sent horde of Swifties to recovery room.

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35 points

Um, the picture clearly indicates that the box was OPEN. He ded

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26 points

Nurse, this man neds 50cc’s of swagger, stat! And go make me a sandwich, because I’ll turn gay if I go into the staff kitchen.

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20 points

Fuck, he’s crashing! Tell respiratory to prepare a cigar smoke nebulizer. Set up a tren drip! Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, where is it?!

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22 points

Nurse, I ordered that casual misogyny an hour ago, where is it did one of you females mess up the order again?!

FTFY

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7 points

I’m so sorry, sir! All I found in the women’s cabinet was blatant misogyny, all of the casual emergency/accidental misogynies are a week late because I am ON MY PERIOD!!

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7 points
*

When interviewed, a Friend of the victim said: dang bro, this beast would usually just smash a 6er of Busch light, blast some rock music and he be back to clam-slammin’ in no time flat!

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19 points

And now they’ve got him deep throating a fat, girthy, breathing tube?! That is like… HELLA GAY!

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