Depends on the situation.
Currently? 40 pound box of cake mix I’m probably going to launch at my store manager.
My cat. Everything else in my room brings me either misery or a feeling of meh. Cat brings joy, which is difficult for me to obtain.
Vibrator.
For almost everyone it’s gonna be the phone we’re reading this on.
Toilet paper 🧻 Very, very useful.
See, if you’re in the room I think you’re in, I think I would vote for the toilet.
TP actually makes an awesome and really inexpensive kleenex or napkin alternative
Toilets are effective at pushing shit, piss and vomit into the sewer while preventing sewer gases from entering your home, and they also double as chairs when not in excremental use. You can also use a toilet to repair the mental defects of a billionaire if you drop it from high enough, I don’t think toilet paper functions in that way.