Don’t forget to kidnap a few employees too while you’re in the wrong store

You gotta wipe out 90% of that wrong grocery store’s employees and patrons through communicable diseases, even the ones in corporate who have no idea who you are or have ever met you.

🫡

And the spice isle is twice as long as you think it is, but you keep insisting that it’s that length.

Leave home with spices on a shopping list, come home with syphilis instead.

“Oh, you’re back. Did you bring back the cinnamon and nutmeg?”

“They were definitely out of those spices, but look at all of these severed hands!”

You found some other spice store on the way and convinced yourself it was the spice store you were after

Spread smallpox.

Oh they definitely complain that people don’t celebrate Columbus Day anymore like they never did anyway.

This is peak tilting at windmills