I work in a public school district and i visit about a dozen different schools. Bosses are making us share our calendars, thinking they’ll be able to track us and catch us doing something wrong. I’m planning to add “started my period” every couple of weeks. Are there other good outlook tricks to fuck with them?
ETA- This is my work calendar, not my personal calendar. I know that seems reasonable but it’s being done as a petty micromanagement tactic. There are about 20 of us in my department who drive from school to school every day working with kids with physical disabilities. They don’t just want to know when we’re in meetings - they want every minute of our day to be accounted for - 8 to 830 school A, 840 to 11 school B, etc. I go to 14 schools. If my kid at school A is absent or if i get a call from school J that i need to stop by to fix a wheelchair, am I supposed to pull over and update my calendar so they can find me? I could spend an hour a day in parking lots editing my calendar. Most days i eat lunch in my car between schools. Last year they made a rule that we can’t carry to-go cups because it looks like we have enough free time to drive thru Starbucks. It’s just to be controlling.
- Spam personal fake notes everywhere. “Joey’s little league game”, “Call dentist” and make completely useless ones like “remember the thing” for maximum annoyance.
- Add obscure religious holidays and random countries’ national festivities. “Bhutan Losar day. Get decorations.”
- Put in washed up celebrities’ birthdays “David Hasselhoff’s b-day”.
- Include random bad album release anniversaries. “18 year release anniversary of Kid Rock - Live Trucker”.
- Register inaccurate astrological milestones with random advice. “Leo ascending in Pluto. Good day for new beginnings”.
- Every once in a while add events that are just random characters such as “HERDBhbcdbcnn nnnnnnnn” which you can later claim were added accidentally from your pocket.
- Make sure some of the events are written IN ALL CAPS
- Be lavish with your use of exclamation marks!!!1!!111
- Occasionally add reviews of your day scheduled for a few hours later as if using the calendar as a diary, including details about health conditions and sex life. “Rough day today… had a lot of work and <partner> didn’t want to get frisky because of the hemmorhoids”
- Write down random math calculations here and there that suggest you are confusing the calendar with an excel spreadsheet “=27.5/3”
- Include the most bland and sad motivational quotes every couple of days with several typos as if written ina rush: “YO cndo it!!!” “YOU WILL ALEAYS BE BEeeTIFUL, gril. Ownit!!!”
- Add fake Google search queries as if confusing the calendar with your search bar “cheap viernamese restaurant charlottesville” “how dolphins swim so fast ND jump”
Extra bonus points if you can invite him to the “events” and get the calendar to send him push notifications for occasional 5:30 am “wake up early for the thing”. If he accuses you of bad faith for inviting him, tell him it’s the default and you keep forgetting to remove him.
Not only will this annoy him, it will render the system impossible to supervise and you can always claim you ALWAYS organize your personals through your calendar and this “is just how i organize”.
Good luck and give em hell.
Edit: Elaborated and more ideas
Edit 2: Few more ideas.
Best part is, public school teachers are basically unfireable in most parts of the developed western world for anything short of Child endangerment, so they probably can get away with all of this and more. :D
Ily2
I love these! Thank you! When we take a personal day we now have to invite her to it in our calendar. I think I’ll be taking some extremely personal days.
That’s fuckin insane. Who is this turd
I assume this is a byproduct of politicizing school leadership positions?
This was a fantastic read. OP I hope you do this (and then tell us about it or post screenshots)
Thank you. I consider myself a decent managerial saboteur / supervisional terrorist
Some people might take this further like spamming tech support/ IT with nonsensical tickets that somehow end up being something brought up to management which would force them to determine some policy (which they hate doing)
Others might find it amusing to open debates about how certain harmless terminology used in calendar events may cause offense to “people we should be looking after” due to “ideological considerations” “possibly triggering” even if no relevant members of any group are in the team. Some people may bring this up in HR.
The key concepts to destroy any organizational effort are “techincally allowed”, “plausible deniability” and “could get someone in a lot of trouble”.
- Put in washed up celebrities’ birthdays “David Hasselhoff’s b-day”.
- Include random bad album release anniversaries. “18 year release anniversary of Kid Rock - Live Trucker”.
Make sure they’re correct though, shitty boss is bound to share your love for kid rock and the hoff.
Don’t forget to use tasks too. Spams your bosses task list with random stuff and reminders all the time.
Add your driving to/from schools to the calendar, turn by turn
- 9:21 - Leave parking lot, turn to Capital Blvd and drive 420 ft
- 9:22 - Turn right towards Trawick Rd and drive 2.5 miles
- 9:27 - Turn left, enter parking lot
Make sure to turn on “at time of event” reminders for every single one, then turn your own phone/pc to DND mode so bitch boss’s only way to make them shut up is unshare the calendar
Pretty sure thats not a normal outlook setting. If boss added the calander to his phone maybe. But doubt it.
Right? I got a call on a new first grader who showed up at school in a baby stroller. I thought, “huh, should i look for a wheelchair and class chair for him and rush over to get him set up for his first day of school? or sit here and update my calendar for each stop in that process? Visit school A to meet kid. Visit school b to look for wheelchair. Visit school c to find wheelchair. Visit my garage to clean wheelchair. Visit tire shop to air up tires on wheelchair. Visit school A to deliver and fit wheelchair.”
Had to do similar for a micromanager that thought I was lying about my start times. He started calling asking where I was seemingly randomly. Then I saw him driving around one day in the lot swiveling his head around and realized he thought I was clocking in from home. (At the time I’d been occasionally parking about a mile away and hoofing it so my fat ass could get steps in before work. I explained this but he didn’t believe it).
So from then on if I didn’t feel like exercising I’d mark my arrival and hide my car somewhere in the lot behind trailers, a big dumpster, etc. and watch him drive around searching trying to catch me out. Then I’d see him find my car and shake his head. He knew what was up then. He stopped stalking my calendar and me after a couple days of that.
Does your boss fish? If not, this might look disturbing to him.
Five Guys Hooker tournament 2-4. Entry: $75. Min length: 8". Biting = Big O
Fishing tournament sponsored by Five Guys from 2-4pm. Entry fee is $75. Any fish under 8" don’t count towards total weight. “Big O” lure is expected to perform well.
The only one here so far not likely to immediately get you in trouble is the one about setting calendar reminders. By default, everyone with access to the event gets the alert with the event reminder.
Also, just being stupidly stringent with your time logging. 10:03-10:17 Gas, 8.9gal, $XX.XX to start pushing for (increased) mileage compensation.
Log every minute you go over time. It’s a wonderful way to make managers twitchy.
Also, there are certain things you could reasonably expect them to want logged with this that legally they are not allowed to ask for. Not “Took a big fat steamer”, what are you, 12? But “Bathroom” 1:10-1:15, and dare them to challenge it on the record. If they do, take it up the chain “I felt pressured to include this information in my time logs and now I’m being judged for it”. That should raise alarm bells with anyone up above them.
Most of all, chill out. Just keep your shit in order and keep moving on. No reason to jeapordize your employment for pettiness.
Yeah. I really need to learn how to let things go and stop being petty, but I just can’t stand her stupid lying face! “Share your calendar so we can find you if there’s an emergency.” Well, you could call me or you could use the multi million dollar emergency alert system that i sign into at every building.
I really need to learn how to let things go and stop being petty
I mean… no, you don’t. As long as you can manage possible repercussions… I say be petty. As petty as you can be while consequence free. Go nuts with it and enjoy it. Share key events with trusted loved ones and they may offer useful strategic suggestions.
Also, managers’ entire jobs consist in lying, manipulating, coercing, dehumanizing, snitching, and gathering info/planning around the former. A good manager is a usually a bad human being (either happily or though fear/incentives), and a good human being is usually a bad manager.
Source: I’m a manager and I deliberately try to be as bad as possible at my job due to ethical convictions. :)
