167 points

Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.

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114 points

If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you’d better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?

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39 points

Rocket man

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46 points

Not sure if related, but my wife once told me it was hot watching me put my arm behind her passenger seat, look back and reverse out of a car space.

Now I need to know… are reverse cameras also for girls and gays?

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16 points

Along those same lines, aren’t backup cameras becoming standard in vehicles?

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25 points

They’ve been mandatory on all new vehicles since 2018

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38 points

That really clashes with the reality of how truck bros actually park. Or does it…?

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38 points

Truck bros park in the dead center of 4 spots.

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5 points

Yeah, sorry, that was me today. Weird day. I’d back up 4 times and still not be able to see the lines.

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3 points

Real men know that there is a greater tactical advantage to backing out of a parking spot instead of pulling out.

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159 points

One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.

A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.

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133 points

They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.

Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?

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72 points

Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.

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14 points

Only straight way to use a urinal is helicoptering, got it

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7 points

I usually just wet my pants to avoid touching my own penis so I don’t get perceived as gay. Shit, I just used the word perceived. Gay af.

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29 points

I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.

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41 points

Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.

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11 points

Wait… you’re not washing your asshole are you?

You can’t be having fingers near your butt, same with wiping

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18 points

Fellas, is it gay to not eat dirt

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4 points

Both of these broke my brain.

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157 points

I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.

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75 points

It’s okay, you can say “fatty” here.

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34 points

Is this gay erasure?

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40 points

I think this is gay eraser

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10 points
*

It’s reality; this fat gay book nerd got called fat derisively MUCH MORE often than the f word

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126 points

I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.

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56 points

The 90s. Cross your legs, gay! Wear a shirt with a loop on the back, gay! Express any emotions, gay!

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28 points

The 80s: clear your throat in too high of a pitch? Get followed to the bathroom and the shit kicked out of you.

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4 points

F

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13 points
*

Nostalgia is gay dude.

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10 points

They called us metrosexual

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15 points

My dad used to call me this non stop. I didn’t know what it meant and he kept saying I was effeminate because I cared about the clothes I wore. I wanted to look good for the girls.

This, to my dad, made me gay.

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3 points

Oh no sorry that’s just gheyyy! It’s a different thing altogether

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98 points

I was told I’m gay because I like knitting.
I mean, yes I’m gay, but not because of that.

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55 points
*

Knitting is a form of computing and computing is women’s work. So yeah, super gay, just like all the other programmers. /s

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20 points

We’ll programmers do enjoy their programming socks

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5 points

My programming does suck sometimes, but I wouldn’t say I enjoy it.

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9 points

There’s a knitting community, but it’s pretty slow. Crochet gets a little more action.

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3 points

It would be really weird if that was cause and effect. I like to imagine how that might go down though.

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