13 points

Love Jesus

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5 points

… Like, the holy Bible Jesus?

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8 points

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68 points
*

I went roller blading on the boardwalk along the beach during the pandemic and got called gay

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13 points

Well are you? I don’t see any proof you’re trying to deny it.

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4 points

Roller blading is less gay than roller skates.

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7 points
*

🎶I got a brand new pair of roller skates you got skint you knees, let’s get to together and touch together our peepees🎶

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4 points

I think the outfit determines how homosexual either appears, or if you are actively penetrating a man or being penetrated by a man.

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1 point

Agreed. Rollerblading is very 90s.

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8 points

I haven’t thought about this in like 20 years but when I was in middle school late 90s some kid had an album where one of the songs was titled “You Rollerblading (f-slur)” and I remember thinking it was the worst music I had heard in my life. 90% sure it was grindcore music, I didn’t know what grindcore was at the time but my memory of the sound kind of fits that mold and the album had like fifty tracks and every single one of them was like 10-15 seconds long.

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10 points

I suspected this was an Anal Cunt track by the title and looking it up proved my suspicions correct.

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4 points

Looking at this now, you are correct, and while I wasn’t proud of myself for having thought the song titles were funny, I feel a bit more embarrassed now than I did two minutes ago before looking it up. Edgy teenagers were clearly this band’s target audience.

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25 points

It wasn’t your skates that did it; it was your crop top and hotpants. j/k

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3 points

There was a show, Human Giant I think it was called, which was like skit comedy. Aziz Ansari (spelling?) was in it. In the skit, he was talking about rollerblading and I lost it when, with a straight face, he said, “the hardest thing about rollerblading is telling your parents’ you’re gay.”

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167 points

Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.

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114 points

If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you’d better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?

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39 points

Rocket man

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38 points

That really clashes with the reality of how truck bros actually park. Or does it…?

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38 points

Truck bros park in the dead center of 4 spots.

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5 points

Yeah, sorry, that was me today. Weird day. I’d back up 4 times and still not be able to see the lines.

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46 points

Not sure if related, but my wife once told me it was hot watching me put my arm behind her passenger seat, look back and reverse out of a car space.

Now I need to know… are reverse cameras also for girls and gays?

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16 points

Along those same lines, aren’t backup cameras becoming standard in vehicles?

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25 points

They’ve been mandatory on all new vehicles since 2018

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3 points

Real men know that there is a greater tactical advantage to backing out of a parking spot instead of pulling out.

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55 points

Oh god so so so many. I’m going to stick with music though for today.

You like ${artist}? That’s gay.

Even more fun, “You like ${Track} from artist? That’s the gayest track.”

Guys are real quick to make sure everyone else knows how much manlier they are by what music they listen to.

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7 points

Those guys are all sadly afflicted by a case of the Notgays.

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24 points

Sounds like your music is pretty gay. Add some masculinity with It’s Raining Men or just jamming to some Village People.

Just wanna point out that at least in the 90s and early 2000s people would call everything they disagreed with gay, and it didn’t have anything to do with sexual preference.

My brother’s gay and still calls stuff he disagrees with gay. Used to do it myself all the time but stopped quite a long time ago.

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15 points

In the same vein, my friend frequently tells his fiancé to quit being a f*ggot when he doesn’t want to eat something unusual or complains about mild annoyances. Which always draws hilariously confused looks from nearby straights who don’t know them very well.

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81 points
*

Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.

Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on

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34 points

Yeah, you don’t have to be gay just to be able to admire art.

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1 point

Though it doesn’t appear to hurt!

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12 points

Heh come on.

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