The atmosphere is so heated, and the statements are getting more and more extreme. Let’s just assume Harris wins the election. After a campaign like this, how could you ever have a normal relationship with your pro-Trump neighbor/father-in-law/Uncle/Barber or what ever again?

299 points
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After a campaign like this, how could you ever have a normal relationship with your pro-Trump neighbor/father-in-law/Uncle/Barber or what ever again?

You’re assuming those relationships survived the 2020 election. For many, myself included, they didn’t.

I was willing to overlook 2016, but after 4 years of horror culminating in a (failed) coup, and those people still supporting him, I just cut them out of my life.

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86 points
*

Supporting Trump is no different than supporting Hitler. I find it very easy to cut nazis out of my life.

One side wants me dead, there are no worthy discussions to be had.

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-47 points

That’s understandable. It’s also, in microcosm, the reason your country is so divided. If you want to continue living in a democracy, you’re all going to have to talk - and listen - to each other.

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80 points

I don’t disagree at all. However, that is a whole lot easier said than done when one side is so far gone in an alternate reality of lies and hate.

We’re going to need a mass cult de-programming or something. I just don’t know how we come back from where we are.

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15 points
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The usual way to fix these things is civil war. Don’t worry, you won’t have to start it, the racists and fascists will do it for you. And then they’ll get annihilated, like always.

This is because they may be loud, aggressive, greedy, hateful and boastful which all help them start and ramp up wars. But they are also stupid, cowardly, irrational, week minded and a minority, which make them loose these wars.

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-52 points
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What you think about them, they think about you. They’re not evil, they’re not idiots. If they lived nextdoor you would probably find each other very pleasant.

I just don’t know how we come back from where we are.

It looks pretty simple from where I’m standing. You talk to them. You listen to them. You find things you agree on, beginning with the smaller things. They’re not automatons, they’re people.

Update. This avalanche of supposedly tolerant progressives who are openly against the idea of talking to their fellow citizens proves to me that America deserves everything it gets. Good luck.

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45 points

No. It’s called the Paradox of Tolerance. “Discussing” rationally with the intolerant only serves to justify their position in their own eyes and thereby embolden them.

In other words, putting up with them simply gives them more ink

Turning the other cheek only works if the person doing the slapping has a sense of shame. Trump and his ilk have long since proven they have none.

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4 points

I don’t remember who said it first, but I’ve linked it before: there’s no paradox if tolerance is a social contact rather than an ethic. If someone breaks the terms of the contact, then the other party is not bound by it any more.

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-11 points

Yeah. Although what if half of the country is intolerant? What then? Divide the country into two?

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30 points

In all seriousness, how does one listen to and communicate with people who have slid so far down a misinformation hole to a place where science is fake, every expert who disagrees is part of a global conspiracy, and the only people they listen to literally can’t stop lying?>

I still talk to and value my mother, and believe she is a good person, but she’s fallen prey to insidious propaganda and believes that Trump is just a flawed tool for God and the Republican platform is the only way to save the world from the forces of evil.


As an aside, my favorite conspiracy theory was how all the governments of the world were collaborating on the COVID lockdowns so they could control the people and take power. The governments capable of national lockdowns could take power. 🤦🏼‍♂️

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29 points

If you want democracy to survive you should be intolerant of intolerance.

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29 points

you’re all going to have to talk - and listen - to each other

We do not tolerate intolerance.

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23 points

I’m not listening to Nazis so fuck off.

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18 points

I don’t need to talk to those who are openly racist. I’m not talking about some political double speak. I have trump voters in my community that openly use racist slurs in their discussion of immigrants, and minorities in town.

You are the company you keep, and those folks aren’t part of my life. Trump was just the vector to illuminate their position that was previously kept in hushed tones behind doors.

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11 points

Yes, it’s our fault that fear-addicted racists have refused to listen to reason for decades and particularly during the last eight years when an obviously unfit clown was committing scandal after scandal. We should be inviting cultists who refuse to listen to us back into our lives and calmly discuss why it is good for the country to be a Christofascist dictatorship.

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5 points

It’s hard to listen to the illiterate.

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2 points

I get where you’re coming from. Unfortunately, it’s not really that simple. Sometimes a relationship is so toxic that there’s no way to restore the basic trust that’s needed in order to function as a unit. This is no different. Pre-Trump, we might have been able to talk and salvage things; at this point, they’re just as broken as a relationship full of cheating and domestic abuse. My fear is that the only way forward is breakup (ie civil war) or some other equally deep trauma.

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153 points

My dad is on his death bed, I haven’t spoken to him in years, because he’s full on MAGA. It breaks my heart that I lost my dad to that cult and that I’ll lose him forever soon, but I will never forgive him for supporting the scum that is proud he stole womens rights.

So to answer your question, being sad and waiting for tomorrow.

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116 points

To those giving you shit about cutting horrible people out of your life and saying you need to go visit…

Bullshit. Fuck that noise. I have family that I’ve cut out as well (although, luckily, not my parents). I’m 100% open to them rejoining my life, but their hatred for others is stronger than their love for me, and I won’t allow them back until that changes. Spoiler alert: it probably never will, because there’s no love like Christian “love”.

“Agree to disagree” is reserved for things like “I don’t like coffee.” Not racism, homophobia, and sexism. Not human rights. Not basic common decency. If I unfriend you during this, it IS personal. We do not have a difference of opinion. We have a difference in morality.

  • @cdvaughn16, Twitter, 2020-06-05
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29 points

Damn. I’m sorry :(

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12 points

This is the correct energy. You already lost him. What’s dying now is some rabies-zombie.

Sorry you had to lose him in such a horrible way. I know exactly what that’s like to go through.

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6 points

My dad is also MAGA but thankfully not very outspoken about it or I couldn’t stand to be around him. I’m still quite pissed at Trump and his cult following for putting the thought into my head that his death could be a net benefit to society.

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3 points

Shit, I’ve been upset for losing a friend, your right, losing a parent is terrible, sorry to hear.

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-47 points
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As someone who just lost a parent suddenly.

You will almost certainly regret that.

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43 points

Nope, when my mom dies it will bring a weight off my shoulders, not having to make sure she doesn’t know where I live. The last time she lived by us she wrote manifestos about militant lesbians forcing straight women to become like them and stapled it around work and home.

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37 points

My father’s death was one of the best things that happened to me.

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33 points

Sure, because everyone’s experience with their parents is just like yours

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20 points

No they won’t. I can’t wait for my parents to both fucking die so I can reconnect with my sisters without them being emotionally abused.

Fuck racists, I couldn’t care less how they die. They oppose my family, I spent 2 decades trying to accept my family, they didn’t.

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-50 points

Blood is thicker than your dad’s skull. Be bigger than him and hug him before he leaves you forever if it’s possible for you. Fuck the MAGA cultist mentality. Overcome his stubbornness and pride.

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82 points
*

People are not owed love by circumstances of biological relation. They made the bed they lie in, actions have consequences, bridges can burn.

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6 points
Deleted by creator
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-25 points
*

Agreed. I said “if it’s possible.” Pride is a real motherfucker for some, but I think it can be overcome. Hopefully they can do so with their dad.

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22 points

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.

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-75 points

Your father is going to pass away and you’re really gunna let politics affect your relationship with him like that?

Looks like you’re the one in a cult. I feel bad for your pops

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64 points
*

GTFO with that “politics” bullshit. It stopped being a purely political difference when Trump made it about racism, sexism, and all other possible forms of bigotry. It stopped being about purely bigotry when he tried to stage a coup.

Above and beyond, you don’t know their life. Maybe they needed a life-saving abortion and their father gleefully cackled when that right was effectively removed in many states. Maybe they’re black and their father bragged about the shootings of black folks, they’re latin and he chortled over the deportation rhetoric, or they’re Muslim and he rubbed the travel bans in their face. Maybe they have/had long COVID and their father gave it to them because “it’s a hoax.” There are so many reasons for cutting MAGA idiots out of your life and Trump’s political policy is the least of them

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52 points

Unfortunately, when “politics” equals “whether certain people deserve basic human rights,” it’s not a minor issue. I don’t keep company with people who think I’m subhuman.

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43 points

You say ‘politics’ like it is some trivial thing. Politics involves beliefs on personhood, human rights, racism, equity, crime and punishment, and fundamental ideas about morality. I think it is totally appropriate to make judgments about a person’s character based on their politics.

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13 points

“Someone has an abusive relationship and you’re really gunna deny them the right to abuse you like that?”

That’s how you sound, Alice.

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8 points

“My political opinion is I am going to strangle the person you love the most to death in front of you while you watch, and if you don’t let me have my political opinion, then who’s the real bad guy here?

Make anything ok using this one neat trick!

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3 points

Let’s say your mom needs chemo treatments and can’t drive herself. You wanna be good to your mom and drive her, but she’s recently developed a behavior from the stress and medication that when she’s in a car with someone, she fights with the driver trying to grab the steering wheel and aim the car at pedestrians.

It’s not her fault that she’s developed this behavior, but you’d think she could at least control herself and stop trying to run over pedestrians, but she says she doesn’t want to. Technically, since you’re driving, you could convince the police that you’re actually the one trying to commit vehicular manslaughter, so while you could deflect the blame, you really know it’s her own fault.

You could also physically restrain your mom, except for all those pesky elder-abuse laws and what kind of person would do that to their mother anyway?

So, what are you gonna do? Will you be a complicit party to your mom’s desire to see pedestrians run over, or will you stop letting her into your car and let her ride the train and bus like an adult? Remember, she’s dying from cancer, but lots of other people experience intrusive thoughts without acting on them and lots of other people don’t have family to support them but still manage just fine.

So, what’s your answer? Support your mom and tell her it’s okay to try killing/hurting people, or let her figure things out for herself and hope that she comes to her senses? She could always prove to you that she realized her behavior was wrong and that she’s ready to ride in the car with you.

And don’t worry, no matter what you answer, I’m still going to call you an asshole, because that’s how reductive internet trolls work. Cuz “fuck you, this is your mom, damn,” and “it’s just simple defensive driving.”

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-39 points

Yeah, I really can’t understand this. I have family and friends who vote differently to me, but I would never let that get in the way of our relationship, and I can’t understand the mentality of people who do.

I mean, if someone I knew turned out to be a full on neo-Nazi, then I’d steer well clear. But if someone just votes for the other main party to the one I do, who cares?

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15 points
*

If my father was on his death bed, chances are I’d put most of it behind me and would ignore a lot of past transgressions.

OPs actions are a bit extreme. That being said, there isn’t much that separates a neo-nazi from a trump supporter in my mind. I can’t imagine anyone supporting him that isnt a complete piece of shit, and it is 100% a valid reason for cutting ties with people.

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6 points

The problem is that said political party is in bed with if not just straight up neo Nazis now. Maybe ten years ago your perspective would be reasonable but it simply isn’t anymore.

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6 points

Maga are nazis, so you’re phrasing your agreement like a disagreement, but agreement it remains.

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3 points

What’s the remaining distance between a MAGA and a full-on neo-Nazi in your mind? Like as long as they’re voting for the US equivalent of the NSDAP, they’re not officially there yet?

Insane that anyone can be comfortable writing a strawman like “it’s just a different vote,” when they’re voting for “I need generals like Hitler’s, I will be dictator for a day, it is legal to murder political opponents, we will do mass deportations, Haitians are eating cats.”

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2 points
*

But if someone just votes for the other main party to the one I do, who cares?

People who will get hurt by that other party gaining the presidency, or people who care about people getting hurt. Or just people with an ounce of empathy.

None of which seem to apply to you.

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-14 points

💯👌

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-23 points

Libs think there’s a difference between the parties and the Republicans are fascist. Republicans don’t see an actual difference which is where you’re at. Leftists don’t see a difference, but think both sides are fascists. I don’t sit down with fascists, but you do you

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120 points

you don’t. women have lost their federally protect right to an abortion since trump packed the court the last time, there are more than a million less people alive in the United States today from a mismanaged federal global pandemic response because trump was in the big chair the last time. you don’t get back to normal when fascism wins.

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89 points

Short answer: I bite back now.

Long answer: My parents are hard-R Republicans. Every time they start getting all “demoncrats r bad” i just ask them, “Why do you want me dead so fucking bad? I know from being raised by you that you fucking hated me growing up, but to vote for “gays should be executed”? This is exactly why you didn’t have grandkids, the thought of putting more of your hate in the world is abhorrent to me…”

I’ve only had to pull that one out twice, so far, but it hits them hard when they still (I’m a few months away from 40) insist I “give them grandkids”.

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10 points

I’ve known many people to be like this, they just want to slink back, and ignore the blatant. Thank you for having the balls to step up and bite back. People like you are the reason I don’t see almost ANY Trump flags in my neighborhood this year. It’s a cult of personality that nobody else has quite been able to achieve. Once he’s gone for good, things can get back to semi-normal. We still have to be vigilant about the shit Republicans are doing, but at least maybe at that point some family ties will begin to heal.

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4 points

it hits them hard when they still (I’m a few months away from 40) insist I “give them grandkids”.

They should probably vote for people where you having kids is an option then (not assuming you want them BTW, just pointing out the irrational hatred of lgbtq+ has made all kinds of family options harder).

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71 points

You can’t go back. This isn’t just a political difference of opinion, this is a full blown violent cult. We need greater funding for mental health and deprogramming services.

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11 points

This is pretty much what I thought. But I hoped there was maybe something more 🥲

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4 points

It sucks to make an observation, hate it, be right, do more looking to disprove it because it sucks so much, and keep unavoidably being sucker punched by the same conclusion everywhere you go.

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