Went to the pharmacy to get a box of condoms and they asked if I wanted a bag. I said “no thanks, I’ll just turn out the lights.”
I’d also be weirded if the condoms were in the eggs isle
I used to try to make it as awkward as possible. Condoms, lube, a bottle of wine, and whatever phallic fruit I could find.
I once bought a dog collar and leash, a pack of darts, and a child’s car seat at the same time. The Target cashier looked at me hard before I put it together, then we both cracked up.
Cashier over the store PA system: … ummmm … price check … price check … umm… yeah … in condoms … ribbed … cherry flavor … costumer says they were on sale … price check
Cashier trying to scan box of condoms: … beep … boop … beep … boop … [over PA system again] … ummm … supervisor … can I get a supervisor
meanwhile line of people is getting longer behind you
You: … hey just forget it … I don’t need the condoms … I’ll just pay for the lube and shovel
Cashier: … it’s already scanned as cheddar cheese and I need to clear it … I need a manager to do that
Line is getting longer behind you and people are mumbling and grumbling
Cashier: … supervisor … um … yeah … supervisor … check out #4 … price correction for condoms please … supervisor
Supervisor who is younger than the cashier arrives: … what is it Richard? did you mommy bring the wrong coupons again? …
Richard the cashier: … that was just the one time and it was only for 50 cents off dog food … and besides that was two years ago before they demoted you from store manager …
Line of people shifts to new cashier that just opened next to Richard … people are grumbling and saying things …
Supervisor: … OK … What is it? …
Richard: … yeah this guy was buying this stuff and condoms and it came out as cheddar cheese for $14.99 and I need to clear it but it won’t let me
You: … hey, I’m in a hurry here and I really don’t need the condoms, just forget it OK?
