No gf, no friends, it’s hard to meet new people. Tinder and other apps don’t work. Idk even if I travel somewhere I’m alone
Sorry to hear you’re going through that, friend. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?
When you’re younger, loneliness can feel overwhelming, but as you get older, it tends to ease up naturally as you meet more people. I have a lot of friends, and my girlfriend is amazing, so I can’t complain. But honestly, sometimes I wish I had fewer people around so I could focus more and get things done.
I’m not trying to downplay what you’re dealing with—sometimes I even envy the quiet, since no one’s around to bother you!
I don’t have any solid advice, though. I’m a selfish prick, and I’ve always managed to have a pretty full social life. I have no idea what the solution is for ya.
But I’m glad you have Lemmy to at least share stuff with people.
This is going to seem trite but it’s not meant to, it’s a real attempt to help.
Have you considered going to church?
Around 100 members (including kids) is a pretty good size; enough for variety and interaction, but not so many you get lost in the crowd.
They are there trying to be friends with each other, to be a family. It can be good.
I have no spouse, I have one friend who lives in another state, and I live alone and work from home. I personally enjoy my solitude because I can live without pressure/expectations. Before getting into a relationship, maybe fuck around a little? Not in regards to cookie, but was there something you wanted to try, but were afraid of making a mess? A hobby you wanted to try, but we’re shy about, like a instrument or singing, etc.? This is the time to do all that. Make cookies at 3 am, walk around in your undies, do that 5 minute craft, listen to that guilty pleasure song and sing all the words. Watch that kid’s movie you’ve been curious about. A lot of people go from one family to another, or to a roommate. You have been given a season of you, don’t skip it.
If that season never ends, and you have put effort out to end it for some time, I would start looking into social clubs. And not, like, meet ups (those are fine if that’s your bag), but ones centered around getting better at socializing in general. I am extremely bad at socializing offline. I cannot make friends with my current skill set, I would need to work on it. Of course, just the opinon of a random on the internet.
Find people with common interests and try to make friends. Maybe with an app like Meetup or some other friends making apps.
What are you looking for in one?
I can answer since OP hasn’t, and it sounds like they’ll agree
What I want from a friend, partner, whatever is someone who understands and shares my beliefs, values, and circumstances. That last one is, I’ve learned, actually pretty important.
The friends I had in my 20s have changed, as have I since then. Most of them aren’t really my friends anymore, some for damn good reasons. The friends I still have, though I love them to death, do not live a life like mine and haven’t for several years now. Due to things outside of any one person’s control, our lives have started to look so dissimilar that it’s getting increasingly difficult for us to relate. I don’t know how much they see it, and I don’t know how to fix it. My friends are still people I am proud to call my friends and it seems like they feel the same for now, but that won’t bridge the growing gap forever
