My neighbour (40/m) (“N”) confided that his recently retired father (70/m) (“G”) has started going to the casino twice a day (all day but he comes home for dinner).
G’s losses affect the food they eat (multi generational household).
N doesn’t really know what to do. I’m not so concerned for N, moreso his mother/G’s wife.
It’s not my business but, when I was a kid my boyscout leader committed suicide after gambling away his house so I’m pretty sensitive to this sort of thing. I’d like to help if I can.
Any advice?
Difficult without more detail.
Does G understand the damage they are doing or are they still in denial?
How much control does G’s wife have over the household finances?
G needs to want help. And an important means of helping is to prevent him having access to most of his cash. If he can be persuaded to sign over control over his bank accounts, or pay his pension into his wife’s account as soon as he receives it, and get a weekly allowance in return, that might help with the impulse control.
But he’d have to want the help. So the first step is getting him to admit that he has a problem.
It may also be worth the family consulting a solicitor. If he’s in danger of gambling away the house, there may be legal steps you can take. Including having the casino bar him (but this may depend on where you are, and how many casinos he has access to).
Two different solutions.
Solution 1 is to get addiction counseling help for G.
Solution 2 is to take away the financial ability G to gamble.
You can help by supporting N and offering to support N’s mother. You probably can’t help G, but you can help them. You probably can’t help N and his mother know how to help G, but you can support them as they try to cope.
Good luck.
You don’t. I also don’t recommend you marry them… Happily divorced now 🙄
