27 points

The “gift” of life is sort of like if someone decided to give you a “gift” of bedbugs.

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18 points

*nearly a century of life

[holy fine print: “nearly century of life” is defined as a length of time anywhere between 1 second to 100 years. Every life is randomly determined to sit between these parameters.]

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7 points

Some cases go out of bounds though, this is just asking for the universe to segfault…

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9 points

Life is the biggest white elephant gift ever.

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7 points

You chose wisely mortal.

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7 points

“Thanks for the self-awareness, asshole!”

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me_irl

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