Teslas are gross
Government response should be… “While the government sympathises with your plight and considers protecting its citizens a core duty, recent events have left the government under manned and thus powerless to protect those who cheer on the downsizing of the government until it directly affects them. Therefore please accept our apologies but until such time as staffing levels allow us to focus on anything but the absolutely vital functions of government which are already more than we can handle, we will not be able to offer you any support.”
"Due to government short staffing, created by the current Trump/Musk administration, we are unable to render assistance since you have a net worth of less than 100 billion dollars. We can however refer you to our private partner “Guard”, Guard - the X in security, can be requested through X following an AI loyalty analysis of your Xeet history.
Once approved for Guard services you can expect one part time Guard to protect your Tesla for two total hours a week."
Snowflakes
Unfortunately, the impact of an actual snowflake on a Cybertruck will irreparably damage its finish.
How the fuck did that thing ever become road legal. I think in some countries it even straight up isn’t iirc.
So I guess you don’t mind having to bury it if it catches fire, because they reach insane temperatures. Or the fact that raccoons think they are dumpsters.
Thoughts and prayers, anyone?
