I don’t get it. Everywhere I look there is this discussion about getting into a relationship, getting gfs/bfs and constantly chasing after it. And I’m not doing anything of it. I never paid attention to such stuff. During my teenage years, I thought it was normal attraction which people cave into and pursued such things. But now in my 20s, the same thing I observe, if not a little bit more than I used it. People getting sad because they are not finding someone. People being happy because they have one for themselves.
I’m not that career focused either. I just mind my own business. If it’s studying or working, I just mind that. I do nothing like checking out girls in my school/workplace like my peers do. Maybe I’m just scared to pursue such things. I also think having a relationship is a huge headache too. Meeting them, making them happy, going out with them regularly. (I don’t go out myself where will I take her to?). All of this while doing your daily stuff.
Am I wrong thinking to put career first before I get into relationships and stuff?
Weird but not bad. More abnormal. Be aware others aren’t waiting, so you may have slim pickings when the time comes
This is entirely dependent on where you’re living. If you live in a large city, slim isn’t the word I’d use.
Also, not weird or abnormal in a lot of the world. Lots of areas in Asia value education before relationships and encourage someone to be self-sufficient before marrying.
That’s fair, though op definitely sounds like they may be on the ace spectrum or a late bloomer in that context. There’s waiting for self sufficiency to pursue relationships and then there’s wondering why people in their 20s are so focused on romance.
I was self sufficient when I married in my mid 20s, but it usually takes a few years of romantic experience before someone marries.
And I guess slim may not have been the best word, drastically reduced might be better. The romantic scene has a few time periods of your life with dramatic changes to it. And what and when is cultural but itll happen. I remember when around the time I graduated college suddenly half my tinder matches had kids. In my 30s a lot of single people my age are divorced. Not all by any stretch, but notably many. As you get older and older widows start entering the picture.
None of this is inherently bad and they shouldn’t get into a relationship just because they’re worried they won’t be able to later, but waiting can make it harder and it’s something to be prepared for if they aren’t just asexual
Solid clarification and expansion there.
For the sake of expanding on cultural/social differences in other places, here in South Korea, most folks i see on dating apps in their 30s are without kids.
It’s in the 30s that most relationships turn serious and get married.
I know two people here who got married in their 20s and had kids. Even the one who got married in their early 20s is open about how she maybe rushed into it.
My time in Canada supports everything you’ve said, mind you. If I hadn’t experienced life here in Korea for so many years, I’d probably wholeheartedly agree without realizing that without knowing where OP lives, it’s hard to describe what their potential dating windows are.
Noone dies wishing they worked more.
But almost every poor old person wishes they’d earned more when they were younger.
Do what makes you happy
Nothing is wrong at all with that. For me I was in a relationship, but everyone started having kids and I didn’t. I realized I didn’t really want kids anyway and pushed on.
Now, I’m a big fan of “relationships aren’t sought after”, that you don’t just go out and find one, but rather it happens by chance, or randomly. So I’d say maybe be open to it if it comes across? And that’s also because the longer you wait the harder it is.
Neither are a requirement for life, although you generally need at least one of the two.
Relationships are work, although the good ones only feel like work when there are conflicts and challenges. Even then, a good partner is a net benefit as two can accomplish more things than one.
Careers are kind of a nebulous series of jobs, which may or may not be a linear progression. They do generally reault in increasing income faste than inflation over time, but not always. Someone can switch caeers at any time, or just have a series of jobs, or even find a way to make money in a way that may or may not be considered a career.
Being in a relationship can also result in not needing to work at all if the single income of the other person is high enough.
So you should set your priorities based on your goals and what you want to put effort into. If that is a career now, you will have that established when looking for a relationship. If you chose a relationship, it may or may not help with a career or you may not need to pursue one. Whichever one you choose may end up getting switched at any point during your life because of accidents or incompatability so the most important thing is to focus on whichever you choose and if an opportunity for the other happens to pop up don’t ignore it if you want both eventually.
