My parents were in an arranged marriage in China, they argue like every week. They are toxic af.
I wonder if people who freely choose their partners have less toxic families… 🤔
My mother chose my father. Toxic relationship, divorced in two years.
My mother chose my stepfather. Wholesome relationship, still married some dozen years later.
They chose each other and they’re good people.
My wife asked my mom what made her decide to marry my dad - which is something I never thought to ask - and my mom said that nobody else asked her. They’ve been together now for 49 years or something.
I wonder if people who freely choose their partners have less toxic families… 🤔
Hahahahahahahahahaha… No.
My parents chose each other. My father is an awful uneducated narcissist snd my mother is deep down a good person who was a terrible parent because she was similarly uneducated and lived in fear of everything and looked only to religion for answers. It sucked. I have boatloads of mental health issues snd resentment about it all. A lot of the time I wish I had just been aborted.
People are wrongly assuming that more people = more good.
That’s however not how it works. What matters is the quality of life, not the quantity. Lots of people choose to have children that they simply cannot take good care of, and that sucks. I’m sorry for your situation
However please do not resent your life over your parent’s mistakes. Your parent’s mistakes are your parent’s mistakes and not yours. If anything, feel spite for/against them, but not against yourself. Hate the system that caused the circumstances, not yourself.
Hate the system that caused the circumstances, not yourself.
Oh I do, and I hate that my parents are fully bought into that system and prioritized it over supporting me. Literally my whole life I have been made to feel less important than my mothers fucking house. I literally said to her recently that I was the only person paying attention to what was going on and she was so concerned with dying comfortably in her six bedroom fucking house that could be ten bedrooms if she had ever improved it that also has a fucking pool and a massive plot of undeveloped land that she lived in all alone that she never noticed our country was getting taken over by fucking Nazis. It was literally a choice to live beyond her means and never, ever have the ability to help me other than just barely keeping me off the streets. As I’ve said to her while she was busy playing fucking Barbie Dream House and teaching her dumbfuck daughter to do the same I was realizing how politically fucked we are for the last twenty five years. I was voting and getting involved while she checked out because she needed to play house so god damned bad. She said she was doing it for her grandchildren (because fuck me right for being too poor to have kids while my sister shat out some rugrats without a plan) but if she had ever given a shit about anyone’s future but her own maybe she would have gotten her ass out and fucking voted. Also she will probably lose the house to old age care and no one, especially not her fucking grandkids, will benefit from any of it except her. I’m so glad you got your dream house and I’ll probably die on the streets you selfish cunt.
My dad was somehow even worse and lived up to every terrible stereotype of a Use Car Salesman you can imagine, and then some.
My parents chose each other. They’re both good people, but they weren’t a good match at all and none of us were especially surprised when they divorced.
The Mrs and I chose each other, and while it would be arrogant to assert that we’re definitely a good match I get the impression that my kids would be shocked if we split.
The structural key to a happy marriage is, I think, the freedom to leave. If my parents had split when I was a kid they’d probably have a better relationship. But because of economics and law and pride they didn’t, which made the pain last way longer than it should have.
My mom chose all four of her husbands, leaving each one for the next - except for the last, who she was with until he died of Alzheimer’s.
After my mom, my dad married a woman he’s been with since. They’re perfect for each other.
According to my mom, her last husband was “the one.” She was with him longer than the other three, combined, and by all accounts they were good happy together. I didn’t know him that well; they married long after I’d left home and was moving around the world living my own life.
