8

What's your most cap sounding no cap? (Don't self snitch, unless the statute is up)

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Aliveelectricwire [it/its, she/her]@hexbear.net
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askchapo@hexbear.net
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Grimes snorted Adderall off my glass table right before Oblivion blew up

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MaoTheLawn [any, any]@hexbear.net
8 points

I’m a star of a YouTube video with about 9 million views, where I’m pretending to believe some outrageous things to an interviewer (who thought I was being serious) just because I thought it would be funny. Never knew it would blow up, and now there’s a good portion of the population who would recognise me as ‘that insane guy from the YouTube video’. Unfortunately to give more info would be to dox myself.

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dannoffs [he/him]@hexbear.net
7 points
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I bummed a cigarette off Jeremy Clarkson in the middle of the desert.

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MaoTheLawn [any, any]@hexbear.net
5 points

Are you Richard Hammond

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dannoffs [he/him]@hexbear.net
7 points

No but he was there.

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MaoTheLawn [any, any]@hexbear.net
3 points

You’re James May then

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dannoffs [he/him]@hexbear.net
4 points

I also got guest listed into a neutral milk hotel show because I was the only barista working that wasn’t star struck by the lawn gnome looking guy and I accidentally made it sound like I tried to get tickets but couldn’t.

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dannoffs [he/him]@hexbear.net
4 points

Two Secret Service guys stood behind me and watched me pee so they could clear the bathroom for John McCain to use.

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Finger [he/him]@hexbear.net
6 points

I am the right hand man for one of the biggest drug empires in america

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isame [he/him]@hexbear.net
5 points
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Purdue Pharma?

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axont [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
4 points

but do you take half measures?

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PaulSmackage [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
5 points

David Cronenberg knows me by name.

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Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.net
5 points

I once charged Xibit $300 for an Oz of weed. Also smoked a joint with George Clinton in front of the same club. Also one time Bunny Wailer gave me donuts back stage at reggae on the river when I was like 13.

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