Or, alternatively, what did you do to another person which got you blacklisted from their life?
Long time friend turned out to be a sexist pos that was groping my female friends, but would only act this way when I had my back turned. I’m very glad my friends trust me enough to actually tell me what was happening. Am perfectly fine cutting that behaviour out of my life and my social circle.
> Am perfectly fine cutting that behaviour out of my life and my social circle.
This sentence feels so performative and cringey, and yet it still must be said aloud because even my ex-friend to this day defends a similarly shitty guy with a well-documented pattern of abuse.
My dad broke up with his girlfriend, and was telling me this plan about fucking with her disability benefits, because she had gone for plastic surgery or some shit. He found this out from stalking her call logs.
I remember just pacing back and forward in my apartment trying to reason with him on the phone. “Dad, you can’t do this kind of stuff…”
I talked him down, told him I loved him, and will always love him.
I don’t know if it was the next day, but the next time we spoke on the phone he went right back into the same mindset. I couldn’t handle it. Sometime after the call I sent a pretty harsh message that I didn’t want to be involved with him. Haven’t spoken to him since.
It’s hard when you care about someone but they just hurt everyone around them.
A girl I had been seeing for years, and thought I loved more than anything. After a lot of really intense drama that I honestly didn’t think I’d survive, and the following analysis with a psychologist, I realised she’d been emotional manipulating me for a very long time.
When I finally cut her out, things just became so much better. I’ve learnt what a truely kind and loving person can be like, and what it’s like to not walk on eggshells or have constant anxiety. So many seemingly innocent comments that in hindsight were insanely toxic controlling statements. It’s been incredible to feel free.
Im glad you recognized the manipulation & got her out of your life. Emotional manipulation can be so hard to spot.
It’s honestly one of those things I’ll never stop doubting, there’s a strong voice somewhere in my head telling me I’m wrong and being selfish.
Thankfully I’ve had enough therapy to know better, but that kind of manipulation really does have a good way of convincing you it’s not there.
You’re not alone in having this sort of story.
Speaking as someone else who survived an emotionally abusive relationship years ago (with gaslighting so successful that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone to make sure they really happened the way I remembered and not the different story she would tell me later), successfully cut my ex out of my life and worked on myself, and am now happily in a truly wonderful and healthy marriage to an amazing person, congratulations on getting out.
I’m so damn happy to hear it worked out for you, that really gives me hope
It’s an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.
When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well:
- We both happened to have been through Some Shit before as these things go.
- We shared understanding and sympathy about what it’s like to be manipulated and treated poorly by toxic people.
- We were both confident about what we were and were not interested in, and were comfortable asserting ourselves about our own needs as well as listening and accommodating one another’s.
- We were also both living independently and staying afloat on our own, so if our dating didn’t work out ending the relationship wouldn’t have cost either of us our home/job/etc. (In my abusive situation this had not been the case.)
Family started to make fun of my pronouns. I’m just tired of people choosing to be cruel for cruel sake. So I deleted Facebook, essentially cutting them out.
My mom refused to use pronouns and I’d given her 6 years to learn and grow, cut her out.
In the past, a coworker on purpose set up a birthday for one of my best friends and didn’t invite me. They made up super weird reasons why I wasn’t invited. I realized he was manipulative… I cut him out…
Another co-worker was a friend but then one day he wanted to start touching me. I don’t like being touched. I kept asking him to stop, he did it more. Til one day he pushed me into a cold case (we worked at a grocery store). I cut him out.
Regardless of who I cut out though, there is ALWAYS room to come back if they change and grow up.
I’m still hoping my mom will before she passes… : /
Not accepting themself would be pretending to be cisgender.
Here, you seem like you need this: https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/transgender-people-gender-identity-gender-expression
Anyone who cuts off their parent for being transphobic is right. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I assure it isn’t.
Family shouldn’t be treated like random strangers you meet online and have some minor disagreement with.
And if you think otherwise, you deserve the same answer.
I cut off a close friend of mine when I decided to get clean from heroin. I used to use drugs with him and he was my weed dealer. He never sold me heroin, but his friends did.
I feel bad because he messaged me 5 or 6 years later saying he got clean too and said he was sorry for anything he did. He honestly didn’t do anything wrong, I just felt like I had to prioritize my sobriety.
I still haven’t contacted him. He was my closest friend for years. I wonder how he’s doing.
It’s never too late to reach out, until it is. I think he will understand, and even if he doesn’t, it’s worth a shot.
I second this. It’s your life and you don’t have to, but it would not be too late to reach out. If you want you can explain that you had to cut ties to get clean. Chances are they had to do something similar and will understand. And you don’t have to jump back into a friendship. Just wishing them well might still be good for both of you.
