Or, alternatively, what did you do to another person which got you blacklisted from their life?
Guy was my best friend in middle school. We reconnected after I graduated from college, played and beat L4D and L4D2 together. Then he started sending me political memes, and they were all fascist.
I tried to reason with him, but then he refused to engage with anything that was longer than like a page, or any video/audio source longer than about five minutes, but didn’t seem to have any problem sending me stuff way longer than that.
I still wonder if there was more I could have done. But I just didn’t need that in my life. I’m not some hero, I’m a downwardly-mobile working-class schlub who’s pretty good at playing piano and riding a bike. I shouldn’t be responsible for dragging this dipshit back from the depths of fascism just because he sat next to me in seventh grade history class, and honestly, with some of the things he claimed to believe, I probably didn’t even want him on my side anymore.
That’s what I tell myself, anyway.
If not you, then who?
I don’t think it’s your responsibility to cure him, but as somone close to him I think it’s your responsibility to try, because if not you then who? But it sounds like you did that to some extent
I think it’s kind of a lost cause most of the time. My parents spend hours a day watching fox news and right wing youtubers. I’m not going to change their minds, I don’t have the time. You aren’t going to offset however much time his beliefs are getting reinforced with whatever time you spend with him.
Family started to make fun of my pronouns. I’m just tired of people choosing to be cruel for cruel sake. So I deleted Facebook, essentially cutting them out.
My mom refused to use pronouns and I’d given her 6 years to learn and grow, cut her out.
In the past, a coworker on purpose set up a birthday for one of my best friends and didn’t invite me. They made up super weird reasons why I wasn’t invited. I realized he was manipulative… I cut him out…
Another co-worker was a friend but then one day he wanted to start touching me. I don’t like being touched. I kept asking him to stop, he did it more. Til one day he pushed me into a cold case (we worked at a grocery store). I cut him out.
Regardless of who I cut out though, there is ALWAYS room to come back if they change and grow up.
I’m still hoping my mom will before she passes… : /
Anyone who cuts off their parent for being transphobic is right. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I assure it isn’t.
Family shouldn’t be treated like random strangers you meet online and have some minor disagreement with.
And if you think otherwise, you deserve the same answer.
Not accepting themself would be pretending to be cisgender.
Here, you seem like you need this: https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbtq/transgender-people-gender-identity-gender-expression
I constantly block people on the Internet based on the content they deliver, how they answer, whether they are logical and polite, or leap straight to manipulations, lies and insults.
Some think it’s a radical approach, but I don’t see it that way. For all its capabilities, the Internet isn’t real and neither are the relationships we have with people on numerous sites that form its social aspect. Thus, there’s really little logic in giving people second chances, wasting time, attention and effort for them, trying to get through their attitudes and suffering to reach “real” them.
It’s like “you have the chance to be polite and reasonable - resign from this chance, and I’m gonna resign from you”.
Sometimes, you gotta step back and look at all the long-ass comment chain you spent arguing with that one idiot who just won’t accept any logic you throw their way, and wonder whether or not your time would be better spent if you just never had to see their ignorant nonsense ever again.
What do you do about those people who have spent a lifetime crafting how to best piss in someone’s face while still superficially appearing reasonable and polite? Myself, I tell them to go eat a fuck. They’re not as clever or nearly as decent as they work so hard to believe. It’s just a device that allows them to feel superior and discount others. That’s why it’s so loved by narcissists.
> Some think it’s a radical approach, but I don’t see it that way. For all its capabilities, the Internet isn’t real and neither are the relationships we have with people on numerous sites that form its social aspect. Thus, there’s really little logic in giving people second chances, wasting time, attention and effort for them, trying to get through their attitudes and suffering to reach “real” them.
You’re absolutely correct.
I think that saying that someone “failed at life” is a bit stupid because, they would do exactly what you recommend in your own comment; they would give friends & family a second chance:
> Regardless of who I cut out though, there is ALWAYS room to come back if they change and grow up.
> I’m still hoping my mom will before she passes… : /
Maybe you see things differently, but perhaps there is something more interesting and constructive you could say than: “You both failed at life.”
Of course, arguing online is pretty fun… haha! :)
> Maybe you see things differently, but perhaps there is something more interesting and constructive you could say than: “You both failed at life.”
I certainly see things differently. I see a person who wastes time in the Internet instead of trying to fix what absolutely should be fixed - it’s not that we have all the time in the world to make things right. Look at the part you quoted - “before she passes”. The guy realizes that the mother may die, but still, talking crap on the Internet seems to him like the better choice to spend the precious time left on.
For me, selecting Internet upvotes, virtual handshakes and high fives by random, anonymous nobodes, over family is certainly within the definition of “failed at life”, and I’d sooner bite my own tongue off rather than approach such a person with “interesting and constructive” words.
> Of course, arguing online is pretty fun…
Definitely! 🧐
The person I had to cut out of my life kept pushing religion on me.
I cut off a close friend of mine when I decided to get clean from heroin. I used to use drugs with him and he was my weed dealer. He never sold me heroin, but his friends did.
I feel bad because he messaged me 5 or 6 years later saying he got clean too and said he was sorry for anything he did. He honestly didn’t do anything wrong, I just felt like I had to prioritize my sobriety.
I still haven’t contacted him. He was my closest friend for years. I wonder how he’s doing.
It’s never too late to reach out, until it is. I think he will understand, and even if he doesn’t, it’s worth a shot.
I second this. It’s your life and you don’t have to, but it would not be too late to reach out. If you want you can explain that you had to cut ties to get clean. Chances are they had to do something similar and will understand. And you don’t have to jump back into a friendship. Just wishing them well might still be good for both of you.
