Sam Bankman-Fried thought there was a 5% chance he would be president, Caroline Ellison testified in his trial::Sam Bankman-Fried told Caroline Ellison that he could one day be the US president, she testified on Tuesday.

74 points

I don’t think SBF has enough criminal allegations to be president. He hasn’t even grabbed someone by the pussy.

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34 points

He did grab Caroline Ellison’s pussy. But I guess if it’s consensual it doesn’t count.

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72 points

He’s using the trump defense. “I might be president one day!” so the judge goes “Oh, in that case, we’re done here, can’t be prosecuting the future President of the United States, case dismissed” and then Einstein appears and gives SBF $100% and an bald eagle weeps a single tear and they go for pizza and cheeseburgers.

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7 points

You call this erotic fiction? Bwa!

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2 points

S…s…senpai…I can’t hold it in anymore uWu

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4 points

Is Scrotus short for Scrotius?

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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18 points

“I was playing bronze 3 league of legends during the debate”

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11 points

My man had an overinflated ego…

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23 points

Worth noting that “con man” is short for “confidence man”. Inflated egos help with the confidence needed to trick people out of money.

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2 points

Thanks for the info.

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4 points

They are lying you just got conned!

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11 points

I think that’d happen to anyone when people are literally handing you billions of dollars.

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9 points

Tell ya what. That’s a weird lookin’ gal.

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5 points

Don’t do meth yo

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9 points

It’s more to do with the courtroom artist doing mushrooms.

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8 points
*

Edvard Munch has to pay the bills somehow.

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2 points

And SBF isn’t weird looking?

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1 point

Oh yeah… he’s kinda wobbly looking too. Bad AI vision.

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1 point

Given the other two she clearly pissed off the court illustrator somehow

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1 point

Heat must be turned way up. Wax is melting.

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