170 points

To be fair, after the attacks on 9/11 I heard a fair number of comments from people who were convinced their local high school football stadium would be a prime target for international terror rings.

“Think about it, Becky. It’s Friday night and the whole town of Left Nube, Indiana will be packed in there. We’re sitting ducks.”

It’s silly, but people project their fear locally.

permalink
report
reply

At least the city I lived in was close enough to “primary nuclear strike” targets to be demolished by shockwave.

Never mind the fact that that’s nuclear strike targets, not “Terrorist-hijacked-jets” target. Clearly people tend not to think rationally about these things.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

We live a few stone throws away from the biggest military base in this part of the country. I usually joke that we’ll either be the first or the last to go if there’s a war.

However, terrorists attacking that would be “putting your dick in a fire ants nest” level of stupid.

permalink
report
parent
reply

I think it would make more sense to attack there.

The goal of an attack is not to do a standoff with the military and win. It is tocause a lot of damage quickly, to negate the feeling of security. Attacking next to the largest military base would be perfect for that, as it creates the appearance, that the military is unable to protect the people.

But the fact is that noone can really protect against this.

Some heavy truck driving through a crowd was often more efficient than gunmen throwing grenades.

Unless specifically searching for it, any semitruck will pass most police unnoticed and could be loaded with a couple tons of explosive fertilizer, enough to destroy a large buildung, killing hundreds of people.

And the attackers either include their death as a planned result, or they run quickly after an attack, making it impossible to respond immediately.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

My dad pointed out to me as a kid that the city next to us would be a nuke target because it held the US strategic reserve of silicon carbide, a substance critical to grinding parts (e.g. making weapons).

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Are you between the two nuclear labs in the Bay area? Those always show up as top targets and people always brought it up

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

The Midwest is full of missile silos that are on MAD target lists. There’s possibly more legitimate fear that terrorists could target something in San Francisco or similarly popular places. Terrorists also want attention, so a place with lots of news coverage is better too.

permalink
report
parent
reply
0 points

Well, I HOPE most people think rationally, but the ones who are going to whine about the local sports match? … Yeah, agreed.

permalink
report
parent
reply
31 points

After 911 a woman in my city (Portland Oregon) called the police because she saw powder on the hood of her parked car - parked under trees that were shedding pollen. She though fer sher that evildoers were targeting her with anthrax spores or something. The police are required to respond to those calls with full bio-emergency gear, so it was a huge scene, road blocked off, police vans everywhere, people in full body protective gear taking samples of the “anthrax” from her car. The end result was a public announcement from the police asking the public to please use common sense before calling. The drama going on in people’s heads sometimes … yikes.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

People need to remember that chances are they are far too unimportant to use expensive stuff like anthrax on them. And if they are important enough for it, then they would already know and take precautions.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Unless you randomly pick up what appears to be a bottle of perfume and it’s full of Novichok nerve agent.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Dude, you don’t have to make up Left Nube, Indiana when the state has Floyd’s Knobs and French Lick.

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

Wolverines!

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

You mean they project their insecurities.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

Left Nube… That’s a city Colin Mochrie made up, isn’t it?

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

It is. And it has permanently entered our household lexicon.

permalink
report
parent
reply
137 points

Whoever thought it was funny to parasail over the village, it was in extremely poor taste. Take your twisted hatred somewhere else

Hate of what? Gravity?

This woman should make herself available to studies of the mind.

permalink
report
reply
30 points

“We investigated thoroughly and came away with no findings”

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

“The lab results from the brain dissection were inconclusive, but the available data has lead us to formulate a new hypothesis. This sort of anomalously delusional thinking pattern may have been effected by excessive exposure to news and social media, but further research would be required.”

permalink
report
parent
reply

She is from rural Britain. What do you expect to find?

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

She’s rocking the abnormal brain from Frankenstein

permalink
report
parent
reply
-10 points

Hamas allegedly used paragliders to attack Israel, but the reporting about it is weird.

permalink
report
parent
reply
29 points

Hamas allegedly used paragliders to attack Israel

So what? We are meant to assume every recreational paraglider in the world is now part of Hamas?

Russia used trains to transport soldiers, do we report that some crazy lady thinks the local UK train is part of a Russian invasion?

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

Sorry, was just trying to give context.

permalink
report
parent
reply
81 points

It’s a good thing assault rifles are illegal in Britain

permalink
report
reply
48 points

Very much so. They should be illegal everywhere as idiots like this are all over the globe!

permalink
report
parent
reply
21 points

You jest. But I’ve had an 8” flying saucer shot out by an idiot when I was doing some park flying. (The saucer body was a 3d printed replica of the OG Day The Earth Stood Still film,)

  1. it was 8” on diameter. 2) it was in a park loaded with kids

Fortunately it was bird shot and no one was harmed. But still.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Tbf, if it had been Klaatu, those kids would have been in peril!

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points

It’s Gort ya gotta worry about, Klatu was just holding a telescope…

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Don’t go to East Anglia believing that.

permalink
report
parent
reply
4 points

Tell me more

permalink
report
parent
reply
7 points
*

Farmers in East Anglia are authorized to be armed. Guns are quite available in the UK outside of the cities and the gun law allows for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBsR49m9SFE

permalink
report
parent
reply
69 points

how does this get covered?

there’s a fella that lives in an alley near me that is always saying weird things, can we get a reporter over here and publish a story?

permalink
report
reply
17 points

It’s ragebait.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

If you call the Daily Mirror they probably will.

permalink
report
parent
reply
66 points

I just like the idea that Hamas got all the way through a plan to invade britain that required them to train for aerial operations, arrange for a plane, convincingly penetrate british airspace from another EU country and yet they couldn’t figure out how to buy paragliders that weren’t hot pink.

permalink
report
reply
16 points

A leisure paragliding club would be a perfect infiltration tactic/cover!

permalink
report
parent
reply

Not The Onion

!nottheonion@lemmy.world

Create post

Welcome

We’re not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

Community stats

  • 6.3K

    Monthly active users

  • 938

    Posts

  • 33K

    Comments

Community moderators