GAZA CITY, GAZA—Following conflicting accounts of a horrific attack on a Gaza hospital, officials from the Israeli Defense Forces released a new statement Wednesday that claimed it was you, the reader of this very article, who committed the act of terror.
251 points
Damn the Onion is on fire lately.
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150 points
I suspected me all along. The signs were all there.
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what really blew up the hospital was the friends we made along the way
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56 points
I am disgusted by my actions.
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54 points
We’ve been trying to reach you about your hospital’s extended warranty…