128 points

tf is this concrete shit just use some goddamn sandpaper to sand the fuckin mountain flat duh you motherfuckers is dumb af fr

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33 points

Can we get this dude to be head of volcano NASA or w/e?

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28 points

VASA

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7 points

NAVA

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4 points

ugh fuck guess I may as well if them dudes can’t figure this shit out

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21 points

finally, a sensible solution

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116 points

As a politician I can assure you that if you vote for me I will put into law that volcanoes will be forbidden to erupt in our wonderful country.

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32 points

And as a different politician I can assure you that if you vote for me I will fight for the freedom of volcanoes to erupt whenever and wherever they want. In fact, I promise a volcano in every household and quicksand in every sandbox.

Cause this is America. Where land has more rights than people voting.

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9 points

The former president of the Philippines said that he will urinate on the volcano that was threatening to erupt. Lol

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3 points

Pee would evaporate and blow back up into his face. Also toxic gases and radiation penis cancer.

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3 points

I wish.

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91 points

So… Just turn a blank round into a live bullet…

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29 points

Maybe we can fire it at the planet that keeps sending those asteroids that nearly hit us.

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25 points

Why yes, I would like to know more.

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18 points

Excellent analogy, but now I want the math. Think we could push this past the gravity well? Fuck space elevator, I got ejecto-volcano cuz.

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10 points

I would imagine very small section might be able to? I know one of jupiters moons has geysers that shoot water into space and out of orbit.

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3 points

Isn’t a space cannon or whatever it’s called a very old sci-fi idea?

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8 points

It’s like the oldest, it’s how Jules Verne sent men to the moon in “From the Earth to the Moon”

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6 points

Apparently launching a metal cover with a nuclear weapon might not even be enough to reach space

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2 points

Very rough Google math (mostly because of “fuzzy” answers on the energy required and how you define space) suggests that the 1980 Mt St Helens eruption had enough energy to orbit three billion kilos…

I based that on the eruption being rated at 24MT, which converts to 100b MJ, and a minimum of 30MJ/kg being enough for orbit. Didn’t find a straight answer on escaping the gravity well, could be way higher.

That doesn’t seem right to me, but that eruption did, in fact, move the entire top of a mountain a pretty silly distance, so as ridiculous as it sounds, it could be accurate? I mean… 500 billion KGs of ash was spit out of it…

That’s the most terrifying thing I’ve ever googled i think. I feel like I don’t actually want to know the actual math on this. It’s fucking plausible dude.

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2 points

I’m pretty certain that it would destroy whichever object was launched. The air friction alone would tear it apart.

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1 point

Or a cheaper space program.

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72 points

Dude just tape a cease and desist letter on the volcano. And if they still don’t listen just get the cops to shoot it.

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20 points

you must be American

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20 points

Canadian. We have that problem too.

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9 points

We learned it from Dad

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56 points

That lava already has to break through literal kilometres of rock to get there. A few hundred (let’s be generous) extra meters of pourable rock ain’t gonna do shit.

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51 points

But look at the picture, the lava is trapped.

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4 points
*

The picture is dumb as hell. The lava would just flow out of the big gaping vertical hole in the front.

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26 points

I think we can still work with the spirit of the solution. The main issue is that the lava will break the concrete. The solution is pretty simple. If we take some buckets of water we can pour it into the volcano creating a layer of obsidian. Obsidian is much harder and will easily contain the magma.

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16 points

Minecraft logic

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5 points

Just get a bucket of water, ffs!

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24 points

What you mean? Cement stronk!

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13 points

Not to mention the average normal size of an opening you’d have to plug to begin with. Even if it didn’t just drain down the hole or dissolve the moment it got to lava, it would be a ludicrous amount of concrete just to make a layer a few feet thick. Even if you did manage to make a plug a hundred or more feet deep and it didn’t melt or move, an eruption would likely just blow the mountain apart from around it.

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10 points

All you’d need is ultra fast drying lava-proof concrete. I’m surprised no one has thought of that yet. Then once the crater vent is fully plugged you would just need to coat the rest of the mountain in the same concrete. Voila, problem solved.

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8 points

I keep thinking about the big job we have ahead of us, paving over Yellowstone Park.

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7 points

If it’s concrete i think it will just explode upon contact because of the water content.

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6 points

Yeah, that “even if” of mine was doing some heavy lifting.

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1 point

Concrete does explode upon contact with molten metal…I can’t imagine how this doesn’t end up in an explosion

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4 points

Gonna need to see some credentials buddy. If I don’t see volcanoologist, I’m leaving.

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3 points

Or as the guy at bike shop put it “no you can’t put duct tape on your pierced tyre. If a nail got through rubber, its probably gonna also get through tape.”

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2 points

Not that I want to defend using duct tape for this, but fixing a tyre isn’t about keeping nails out but closing the hole after the last one.

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