233 points

Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.

The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.

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70 points

Not saying it doesn’t happen but I’ve seen this said a few times now, and have never heard of anyone who actually refuses to clean their arse. Have I just lived a sheltered life or what?

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47 points

The internet can amplify incredibly marginal phenomenons. Like, how many incels can there possibly be? Yet you hear about them all the time

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22 points

You actually have this conversation with people regularly?

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23 points

It’s a great ice breaker

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22 points

Proof homophobes are full of shit.

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16 points

Have you actually seen this? Like, do you have a first hand account?

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101 points

I did. I was talking to some guys and somehow my bidet came up and everyone found it pretty amusing and “gay”. I said something like: well imagine you accidentally touch dogshit or something and then wipe it off with a piece of paper and go: well that’s good enough until my next shower.
One guy said: what do you mean, next shower? And i said, that’s your next opportunity to clean your ass with water and soap. Where everyone seems to agree that was also for gays.
It’s extra funny to me that in a previous conversation one of the guys said his girlfriend hates giving head. I wonder why mr. Poopy butthole.

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49 points

If you search for “boyfriend refuses to wash ass reddit” on Google there are plenty of stories for you to eat your dinner over.

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12 points

Well it must be true if it’s on reddit.

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-1 points

If I wanted to read reddit, I wouldn’t be on kbin. And I was asking if they, specifically, had a first hand account.

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13 points

How does this even come up in conversation, like what’s the context? Do they not wipe either?

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37 points

It’s usually partners complaining that they stink because they don’t wash themselves properly.

Some guys openly just admit it because they just don’t realise that it’s not normal. So fearful that they won’t put their hand anywhere near their own ass.

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7 points

I sleep naked. My sheets would be so very rank.

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13 points

Sounds like he enjoyed the way it felt and that scared him.

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-3 points

An ex of mine refused to wipe and would shower after every poop, claiming tp was ineffective, BUT WOULD ALSO refuse to purchase a bidet; the toxic masculinity here was thinking he was outsmarting us all while also contaminating every shower he had ever used

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5 points

Washing your ass isn’t contaminating the shower, that’s almost as bizarre as thinking using tp makes you gay.

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3 points

Washing your ass under the shower doesn’t “contaminate” it. Sure, use toilet paper first, then go wash yourself. But you would be surprised how much shit (literally) is in the air. It’s everywhere, even on your toothbrush.

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186 points

Refusing to use nail polish remover to clean off permanent marker because that’s “for women”. It’s acetone, my dude, acetone.

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150 points

All solvents are gay. That includes water, the gayest of solvents.

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74 points
*

This makes sense, every gay person I’ve met drank water.

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12 points

It’s like my science used to say in grade school, “100% of people who consume dihydrogen monoxide end up dead”.

Water has quite a few side effects, the evidence is clear!

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20 points

Water, the universally gay, solvent.

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4 points

If only it could dissolve the gay away.

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4 points

The H in H2O stands for homosexual, it’s true, look it up.

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14 points

Meanwhile I buy my wife nail polish that just happens to be the same color as something I need to touch-up or paint.

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12 points

“metallic grey…gee…thanks?”

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4 points

I have at least 2 dozen metallic grey nail polishes lol… I’d be stoked to get another!

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5 points

I don’t even know what that means… Like you got a sharpie mark on you? Permanent marker on a white board? What scenario is that lol

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4 points

Real men use isopropyl alcohol.

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3 points
*

I only use carb cleaner!^(1) /s


1 also acetone

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172 points

Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is “gay” and “feminine”

Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn’t gay.
Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it’s the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.

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163 points

Lmao literally “fellas, is it gay to love a woman?”

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69 points

Yeah, working in a factory was full of the bullshit like this, but this was the weirdest example. Things that boiled down to “No, I can wear less protective equipment than you!” were very common.

Even if you take the “gay argument” out of things, why would you let a group of 4 divorced guys give you relationship advice?

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10 points
*

Obligatory Steve Hughes bit

https://youtu.be/6xxiK6Z4eXs

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10 points

Just in case you haven’t noticed yet, youtube has started putting trackers on their links when you copy them. You can delete the question mark and the si= string and the link works without the tracker

https://youtu.be/6xxiK6Z4eXs

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2 points

I’m so glad someone linked it as it’s the first thing I thought of

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7 points

Hella gay. You need to engage in naked Greco Roman wrestling with another man to wash that gay off.

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74 points

To be fair, having sex with women is pretty gay. They’re girly, weak and smell nice.

Nothing more masculine than two smelly men fucking each other in the arse. Dominating this guy who’s just as strong if not stronger than you, then enduring the pain of Big Jim’s rod penetrating you, because you’re a manly man who’s made of tougher stuff.

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41 points

Fucking women is gay because women like men and liking men is gay

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17 points

enduring the pain of Big Jim’s rod penetrating you,

Fellas, is it gay to use lube for anal?

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13 points

You’re not a true man until you sand it up.

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4 points

Real super straight hetero male masc men use blood (but no tears as crying is gay) as lube when fucking bros.

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1 point

Not if it’s 5W30 Valvoline.

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9 points

Sarah Silverman had a bit about how heterosexual love is… Kinda gay, by toxic masculinity standards.

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8 points

You know what they say: There is nothing more manly than gay sex.

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145 points

I’ve been to Gay pride parades, gay bars and gay clubs. The gayest experience I’ve had in my life was working in the trades with straight men doing everything they can to prove their masculinity at all costs.

These men will use women as mere possessive objects in order to prove to their masculinity towards other men. By oversexualizing all women while at the same time belittling all that their partner does. As if women were merely currency for respect among men.

They hated gays and trans people so much that they would spend an extremely uncomfortable amount of time telling you how much they were “disgusted” by these people.

They hated on any man who who did not possess physical masculine traits. Those traits that they hated? Not being muscular. Not being tall. Not being fat (what???). Having longer hair.

But the gayest thing these guys refused to do was stand up for themselves against unjust authority. They would spend the most all their free time explicitly telling you how much they hate their boss. How stupid their boss is. How much of an asshole their boss is. How they would kick their bosses ass. Just talk an absolute big game.

Then the boss would come around the corner and you’d never see a bunch of grown ass men tuck their dicks between their legs faster than these guys. Their voices raise up a couple pitches and suddenly they are acting as subservient as how they believe their wives should be.

It’s in this unspoken idea of respect for Men in Authority that you see the “gayest” trait in these toxic men. But not in a good gay way. A toxic gay trait that comes from a deep place built on oppression and repression of ones self. Where respect from your fellow man at all costs is the most valuable thing they crave. Where respect from your boss holds even higher value. Where respect from men in higher positions is held at even higher value.

All they care about is to be noticed by other men. That’s kinda gay dude.

The cost of all this effort to gain respect from exclusively other men is their dignity. And they are more than willing to give up their dignity to be noticed by men in positions of authority.

To these guys, questioning or standing up to authority is gay. Standing up for yourself is gay. Demanding to be treated with dignity is gay. They will be the first ones to kick you down for disrespecting authority.

I’ve walked into a club bathroom and saw two guys giving another guy a blowjob. That’s still not as gay as watching “straight” acting men grovel at the feet of boss in any trades.

Ick…

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45 points
*

Ugh. Very relateable.

To give you an idea, I’m 2m/6ft6, do weight lifting and I’m not particularly worried about the size of my dick. I may be insecure about many things, but not about my manliness.

Anyway, these kind of insecure men always try to out macho me. It’s so fucking tiring. I’m basically straight (never say never), but I like stuff these kinds of men often find gay, because I’m not an anti-intellectual moron who has the maturity of a 12 year old boy or cares too much about what other people think. It’s like they want to whip out their dicks and measure each other all the time. What kind of manchild cares so much about what other people think, that they can’t listen to classical music, dress nicely, or read a book? As you say, these men are too weak to have opinions of their own or stand-up to authority.

They’re so deeply insecure, it’s fucking sad. Pathetic even. Not that I feel much sympathy for them, especially the older ones who’ve had time to mature, because they inevitably cause you grief. They’re at best annoying, but can be outright dangerous. The whole machismo, kiss the boot, contempt for the weak thing is a toxic cocktail. No surprise who they vote for either, always love to suck the dick of a strong leader who tells them they’re better than someone else.

You know those Harvard implicit association tests? They have one for racism, but they also have one for homophobia. Certainly not without their flaws, but I took one. Turns out I have a bias against straight people. No mystery how that happened, given so many men are toxic.

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11 points
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9 points

Holy shit yes, this whole thing right here.

The trade fields are absolutely insanely full of men telling each other how manly they are and how not gay they are with the “notice me” mode that it’s kinda ‘dude… if you want guys to hit on you… you’re going about it all wrong.’

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5 points

That reminds me of this Ron White joke

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2 points

Sounds like a great bunch(!)

Not sure how it relates to “gayness” though.

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2 points

Kudos for being able to say what you did, while using gay as a “derogatory” word, and not fucking it up in a way that would lead an uncharitable interpretation of what you said.

That being said, I absolutely agree with you, and the most homophobic shit I’ve ever heard came from guys who were so insecure about their sexuality, in a way that signalled to virtually everyone who was secure, that there was something about themselves they didn’t want to accept.

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2 points

Don’t forget anything longer than a military buzzcut. Gayyyyyyy

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133 points

Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they’re issuing out bed linens. We’re all thrilled because we’re getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because “they have flowers on them”, then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.

He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.

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43 points

The Aztecs, that would cut hearts out of people and fought with clubs edged with razor sharp rocks, worshipped a flower god (Xōchipilli) and a hummingbird god (Huītzilōpōchtli), those pansies.

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16 points

I’m going to be honest here - being surrounded by hummingbirds is terrifying. Not only does the buzzing and needle beaks make you think of the mosquitos in jumanji, but they also teleport from place to place while hovering.

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19 points

Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I’m guessing this isn’t the same.

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24 points

My bad, I didn’t realize it was called by another name elsewhere. It looks just like this [USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF](USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF)

What do they call those where you’re from?

To be fair, that LT would feel right at home in what you’re describing (we call that a “crib” in the US), he was such an ignorant ass.

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16 points

In the UK a crib is a smaller cot for newborns. And what you call a cot looks like a stretcher with trampoline legs, I haven’t ever seen one of these to hear what Brits call them.

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12 points
*

Sometimes called a “camp bed” but I’ve heard cot in the US

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_bed

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10 points

it’s like a glorified stretcher

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