Almost all my life I’ve absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I’ve hated being around children.

It doesn’t even matter what the child is doing. Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

I’ve had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I’d stayed I’d have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.

It’s even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can’t help it. I know the kids don’t know any better and it’s our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?

251 points

Therapy. It’s clear this is causing you problems in your life. And that’s exactly what therapy is for.

permalink
report
reply
121 points

I’m just a dickhead on the Internet, but what you’re describing doesn’t sound normal or healthy to me. Have you tried therapy?

permalink
report
reply
67 points

I’ve done therapy a few times now and we never really covered this.

It doesn’t help that I live in a small town so the therapists here are extremely underqualified for actual mental illness and not just helping people through “tough” times

permalink
report
parent
reply
51 points

There’s such a thing as remote therapy.

permalink
report
parent
reply
36 points

I’ve tried that more times than actual in person therapy and it’s extremely hard for me to form the emotional attachment necessary for me to let my guard down and bare my thoughts and feelings.

It feels so fake and forced. I feel more like a subject being examined than a patient there for care

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points

Betterhelp was selling medical information to facebook so make sure you find someplace legitimate to get help

permalink
report
parent
reply
12 points

That’s not a terrible idea. They might even tell you that your emotions are not uncommon and give you some tips for dealing with it.

Or something else could be going on and you could get some more complete therapy.

Source: being some other jerk on the Internet.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

Internet jerks unite!!!

permalink
report
parent
reply
98 points

The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

Yeah, that’s actually a thing for some people to various degrees.

It’s called misophonia

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24460-misophonia

I had it for high pitched sounds as well, went on Beta Blockers for migraines and it fixed this as well.

The noises are triggering your adrenal response and your body is screaming at you that the noise has to stop and it doesn’t matter what it takes. Beta blockers block adrenaline, so now noises that used to set me on edge are just normal noises to me.

I think one of the current hypothesis is that it might be close to a sound that would attract predators, but sometimes wires get crossed and you have the reaction to a random noise.

Most commonly it’s people hating the sound of others chewing.

permalink
report
reply
40 points
*

I was unfamiliar with misophonia so I went looking into it. I know it is a poorly studied issue, but I wasn’t able to find any peer reviewed research where children’s noises in general were used or reported as a trigger. I found lots of discussion forums, but that is anecdotal.

The reason I went digging is because the op describes all children’s noises, happy, sad, whatever, whereas what I read in the literature was very specific noises were reported as triggers. E.g, lip smacking, chewing, pen clicking, etc. In one study, they even used videos of children and dogs playing to help participants calm down and establish a baseline. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0227118

While I’m admittedly ignorant, it seems OP may have a more general aversion to children than I would expect of misophonia given what I’ve read from medical sources.

I only mention this as a counter suggestion to help op avoid self diagnosing and maybe going down the wrong track.

I think counseling is warranted to help sort it out.

permalink
report
parent
reply
15 points

Not specifically kids.

But kids make lots of really high pitched noises, and those can be a trigger.

Happy, sad, for no reason at all.

Kids make a lot of noise, and it’s almost all high pitch

permalink
report
parent
reply
10 points

I have misophonia and kids are definitely a big trigger in a lot of ways… Screaming, crying, chewing, coughing. It’s anecdotal, but yeah the high pitch sounds don’t play nice with my brain. Misophonia suuuuuuuuuucks.

I also don’t particularly like kids, but that’s not really about the sound. Just not my cup of tea.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

I’ll have to look into this. People chewing normally don’t bother me, but if someone is sitting close and chews with their mouth open… yeah, instant rage.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point

I’ll have to look into this again thanks, but Just a cautionary note that it can be hard to get off of beta blockers iirc

permalink
report
parent
reply
2 points

While true, it’s not that they’re addictive or dangerous or anything.

It’s just a long half life so they stay in your system for days when taken as prescribed.

So if you take your doses regularly, your body gets used to never having adrenaline.

Take a week off, and your body is suddenly dealing with adrenaline again while having like zero tolerance for it.

So if you’re on it for cardiac reasons, stopping abruptly can very likely lead to a heart attack.

So (like most meds) if you’re going off them you need to titrate slowly so your body adjusts. But it’s not like Benzos where it causes withdrawals or anything.

If someone takes them “as needed” then they can just stop taking them whenever without cause for concern. Because their body is still used to occasional adrenaline.

Obviously consult your doctor though, I just took a few classes on this stuff over a decade ago

permalink
report
parent
reply

Whether they’re laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

This is actually a neurological thing. It has a name and everything (though I can’t recall what the name is). A lot of people on the spectrum have it. You may want to talk to a therapist about it, if this isn’t merely hyperbole.

permalink
report
reply
36 points
*

Misophonia is the thing you’re describing.

permalink
report
parent
reply
36 points

That’s the fear of soy paste.

permalink
report
parent
reply
46 points

That’s misophobia, misophonia is when you don’t like how soy paste sounds.

permalink
report
parent
reply
9 points

As dumb as this comment is, you’ve just guaranteed that I’ll never forget the name of this problem, so thanks for that

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
*
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

I have this too. The sound of chewing is like nails on a chalkboard all through my bones. It’s awful.

permalink
report
parent
reply
1 point
*
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
14 points

Oh just what I need more evidence.

permalink
report
parent
reply

Never hurts to check.

Unless you’re American and don’t have health insurance. Then it might hurt.

permalink
report
parent
reply
6 points

I have it. The sounds of people eating, especially slurping or crunching, are literally repulsive. I have to have something else to train my focus on or else I’ll get up and bolt.

Other repetitive sounds trigger it too: people popping gum, chewing ice, clipping fingernails, etc. But not too bad with keyboards and typing.

permalink
report
parent
reply
5 points

Yep, autism was my first thought too.

permalink
report
parent
reply
3 points
Deleted by creator
permalink
report
parent
reply
70 points
*

I have no advice, but I have to say I really admire and appreciate you for acknowledging that it’s unfair for the children and trying to change that. Most people aren’t strong enough to introspect

I would even argue that you’ve already done the hard part

permalink
report
reply

No Stupid Questions

!nostupidquestions@lemmy.world

Create post

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others’ questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That’s it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it’s in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.

Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.

Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

Community stats

  • 9.5K

    Monthly active users

  • 3K

    Posts

  • 120K

    Comments