“Baby baby, I brought you your toast again.”

Def annoyed her.

85 points

i like to remind her every time her phone rings that its likely, for her.

“you should get that, i think thats for you” x 17 years

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10 points

Haha were you ever wrong?

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11 points

seems like oonly when the kids were young and cell-less. occasionally she would throw it back in my face

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6 points

Aww adorable #relationshipgoals

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44 points

Whenever she sneezes I’ll give the first one a “Bless you” and the second something like

“Oh GROSS! Can you take that outside?”

“Babe we talked already, I’m not into your kink, stop iniaiting like that”

“Jesus anything for attention with you…”

It’s now at the point where when she starts we are both glaring and smirking at each other.

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15 points

I’ve said, “Oh, fuck you! Grow up!” and similar to friends. But it’s best immediately after sneeze one, and you should sound properly offended at the temerity.

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43 points

Not recently, but this is one I’m particularly proud of. She texted me to complain that she was music-less in the office because her MP3 player failed.

Well of course I phoned and was able to sing one line about never giving her up before she hung up the call.

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36 points

I look her in the eyes romantically, with a touch of mischief, and state “you’re a very useful girlfriend”.

I only do it a couple times a year at most.

The look of disdain is priceless.

She knows I love the hell out of her, and the anti climax is brilliant.

“What am I?! Your bloody house cleaner?!”

Then we laugh. Cuddle. She feigns a cold shoulder.

Too much fun.

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36 points
*

Whenever she tells me she’s going to do something I react “Hey honey, you should go and do something.”

“I’m going to the store to get some milk”

“You know what? You should go to the store and get some milk”

“I’m going to wash some pants.”

“Honey, I think maybe you should wash some pants.”

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3 points

I am going to write you a reply “Sometimes I think about narrating my own life” I said to myself as I finished typing.

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