I hate when I think I just have to pee but it turns out I also need to vomit too.

Indeed. Moreover, I can piss without shitting if I wish, but to shit without pissing? That is a rare gift.

I don’t take my phone to the toilet. Just finish my business and be back fast.

Yeah but at least now you know your shampoo is pH balanced and made with sodium lauroyl methyl isethionate

why am I laughing so hard