I was assigned male at birth but have increasingly started to notice over the years that other guys don’t have a big notch on either side of their torsos like I do. It’s my pelvic bone. I would go to a doctor to see what they had to say but they’ve seen me plenty of times and said absolutely nothing about being intersex and now I live in a rural conservative area and they don’t seem to diagnose the same way in hardly anything that is a conservative third rail. I just seem to have a really wide pelvis just like a female. Everything else seems male. I am a very normal weight so it’s not fat tissue - its clearly bone. I just feel gaslit over it and have been trying to gauge perceptions people have of me in my life in order to get on with things. I hate to turn to the internet but this is driving me crazy. I need something to work with, somewhere to start.
Biology isn’t binary. I would stop looking for labels and just be you.
I would stop looking for labels and just be you.
I wish I could tattoo this on the retinas of every Gen Z kid so they’d be forced to see it literally all the time.
And I wish I could convey to people like you what an absolute privilege it is to not feel the need to label yourself because society already not only recognises and accepts you as the default, but caters to you as such.
Those of us not so lucky like to find our people, those who can understand us and what we’ve been through, those we can relate to who can relate to us, and act as the community society never was for us (your comment being a perfect demonstration of the massive blind spot so many people have to the struggles of marginalise people).
Check your privilege instead of expecting those who don’t have it to be as comfortable as you are (which literally requires you to just not give your uninformed opinions of people whose experience you clearly know nothing about and the actions we take to feel less excluded).
Do you really care about people who will only accept you if you only have a label? I think gen Z cares to much about finding “your people”. You know who your people are? People who accept you because you are you, not because you’re a X, Y, or Z.
Why would you give a damn about the opinion of someone who only accepts you because you label yourself as whatever? That’s a shitty person.
Edit: actually, thinking a bit more about this, that could be pretty lonely depending on your circumstances, because most people are absolute shitbags. So I can understand the appeal of being able to say “I IDENTIFY AS FKLDS;AME” and finding a ready-made community of FKLDS;AME to act as a societal support, since the cishet society you happen to be born into hates anyone who isn’t cishet.
Still far from ideal.
I think my privilege is not so much my own cishet identity but simply a geographic one: no one here gives a damn what you identify as, all are equally valid. You don’t need to find a new community of FKLDS;AME people or FKLDS;AME allies. Everyone is just groovy about whatever. Less pressure to label.
Biology isn’t binary.
correct
I would stop looking for labels
why, when a label can not only confirm to the person themselves all of the feelings and doubts they may have been having, but also finds them a supportive community of people like them they can relate to and share experiences with?
and just be you.
correct, but can only happen by knowing who you are first, aka finding the correct label/s for yourself.
💯 💯 💯 💯 💯
Finding a label and understanding yourself after a lifetime of confusion and self hatred for not being normal is immensely satisfying.
Sure, in an essentialism way we all transcend labels since an individual is so much more, but we live in a language based society. Having a label is the best way to communicate to another human “This is my experience”.
No.
1 or 2 in 1000 people are xxy
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klinefelter_syndrome
But even if you’re XY, hormones aren’t binary, you might just have a lot of estrogen, or it could be something that isn’t related at all to gender or hormones.
There’s a shit ton of human variation
Possibly but possibly not. If it were fully considered an intersex condition it would be even more common to be intersex than previously believed. Though as someone intersex (urogenital structure and chimerism) who had that trait you may have other small stuff
Like what? What else might I have? I’m going mostly by appearances. I guess my voice never completely broke and I’m already 30 but I thought that might be kallmann syndrome or similar.
You probably just have a little bit of an anterior pelvic tilt. The boney prominence that you are talking about, the one that is more commonly visible in women is just the iliac crest.
Everyone have them, but your weight and pelvic tilt determine how visible they are. Women typically have up to 4 degrees of anterior tilt, while most men are in a more neutral position.
Men can have anterior tilts and be perfectly healthy, but It can also be a symptom from anything from bad posture to a limb length discrepancy. It should be fine, but I would consult a physician if you start losing range of motion or start having hip or lower back pain.
So, one of the most common intersex conditions amongst male folk is Klinefelter syndrome. It’s basically where you end up with an X and Y chromosome, but also have a second X chromosome (so XXY).
The symptoms are subtle, and most people are never even aware they have it. But symptoms include wider hips, taller than average height, reduced fertility, reduced puberty (so not as much body hair, voice doesn’t drop as deep etc) and sometimes, slight development of breast tissue
I have this pelvic bone thing. I’m 5’ 10.25", I think average for men is 5’ 9". A lot of puberty things have been lagging including my apache beard, virtually no hair on torso or arms, squeaky crackly young sounding half broken voice, and yeah exactly slight development of breast tissue. No one has ever said anything about my chromosomes though.
Human variation means you can be a male with a natural “male” wide pelvic bone. When determining the sex of human skeletons, they use a whole array of measurements besides just the width of the pelvis and still get it wrong sometimes. Unless you have other indications or feel you might be a different gender than you present as, you have nothing to worry about.
