90 points

I don’t like avocados. I’ve literally never had avocado toast.

And somehow I’m not a millionaire.

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62 points

Have you tried getting a 10 million dollar loan from daddy?

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78 points

Have you considered supplementing your income by committing massive fraud?

You need to start by making small changes to your daily habits, and build up to massive fraud. If you try to do it all at once the habit wont stick.

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26 points
*

I dont know about that. Small crimes get prosecuted. Big crimes? You just pay a fine that’s less than what you made.

I’m thinking “big crimes” is probably better overall. Might as well just start there.

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15 points

Small crimes from small fish. You can only take money from people who have less than you, that’s how the fraud system works. So you gotta ramp up your frauding slowly.

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2 points

I was attempting to be facetious and mimic the self help type advice you see about daily habits, but yes, if you want to get away with it, bigger is probably better.

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53 points
*

How to be a millionare by 30:

  • get 2 million as a gift from parents
  • Start a buisness in an untapped market
  • get investors
  • work all day every day
  • workout and meditate to keep you body and mind healthy
  • save as much as you can, no starbucks!
  • sell the buisness once it is valued over a million
  • use that money to start a new one
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23 points
*

I have seen many adverts rich people make so heres a schedule:

Wake up at 4am

Get dressed 4-5

Go to gym 5-7

Get changed 7-8

Eat breakfast 8-8:30

Read newspaper 8:30-9

Work 9-12

Lunch 12-13

Hit the club 13-17

Dinner 17-18

Club again 18-?

Do these and you will be a billionare in no time. If you are an older gentleman replace the club with golf.

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7 points
*

Sell business once it is valued over a million

-invest in GICs/Bonds on a 5 year maturation or high yield savings accounts (~5%)

-Every 5 years collect $275,000 on a $1M principle.

-Now you make average money and you don’t even have a job.

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48 points

You don’t see the ultra rich getting fancy coffee from your local barista.

They pay assistants to do that for them.

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19 points

which is honestly fucking sad, you bet your ass i’d be buying the most expensive shit from the local coffee shop if i had a billion dollars

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18 points

It’s one coffee, Michael, how much can it cost? $100?

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9 points

Not only does the assistant buy the coffee. He also drinks it, and does all the work for the billionaire.

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2 points

As it should be. Imagine earning millions of dollars and still having to work for it

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27 points

I go out for a chai latte sometimes and bring my daughter with me to get a smoothie. Fuck people who think everyone else should cut back on this shit. Just because you’re not wealthy doesn’t mean you don’t deserve the occasional nice treat to make your life a little less dismal.

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3 points

I don’t know avout deserving, cutting back is just something many do to make ends meet. If you have the money for tea and smoothies then I don’t see what the issue for anyone would be.

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3 points

You can cut back to make ends meet, which we do, and still get the occasional thing to make your life not shit 100% of the time. Would we do better financially if we didn’t do the occasional thing to make us happy? Sure. Why though?

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2 points

Spending money doesn’t make me happy. It might be the good coffee or spending time with my friends in a cafe that was the thing making me happy. So for me it’s not a fight about doing things that make me happy vs not. I usually try to find another way to be happy, like buying good coffee to make at home and so on for things I try to cut back from.

Would we do better financially if we didn’t do the occasional thing to make us happy? Sure. Why though?

That’s what I’m wondering too. If you can afford those things and they make you happy, who thinks you don’t deserve them or thinks you shouldn’t do them?

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