apparently I’m in the top 75,000 users and potential dumb money

50 points

The mods should ban you here just because you were eligible to that scam.

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34 points
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It would be very funny if all the people who bought stock before IPO immediately sell it to tank the price.

Second most funny thing would be if the top 75,000 nerds bought a bunch of reddit stock at the pre IPO price and the price just fucking tanks right as it opens and they’re all left holding the bag.

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I think the second thing is far funnier because for weeks there would be reddit posts like this one “Guys, I’m $10k down from the IPO. Should I sell now or wait?” And a few months later they say “Guys, um - I want reddit to succeed but I’m down $25k. What should I do?”

And - of course - the top replies are stuff like 'You gotta stay strong 'cause this thing is gonna turn around. It’s gotta!" Eventually when it’s too late Biden’s DOJ investigates reportage that such comments were a tiny part of a massive scheme on the net involving bot and AI to manipulate the stock price. Trump won the election and the expected and highly loyal AG Scott Baio says “There’s a new sheriff in town. Reddit stock price went down? Boo-hoo. People at Reddit lost money? Good. They deserve it.”

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12 points

HODL

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4 points

Hold On Dumbass Loser

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6 points

We’ll come back for you (I’m currently selling everything)

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6 points

I like both of these ideas

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23 points

“Now that we’ve fucked everything up and pissed everybody off please bail us out.”

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23 points

It is at this moment I regret deleting my top 1% account. If only so I could ruin their metrics by not participating in the IPO.

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19 points

I may be wrong but isn’t that a sign that they can’t find buyers for the public shares and have to try and sell it to potentially committed reddit users?

Inshallah it means reddit will go down

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7 points

I think it’s more trying to make themselves a meme stock for the hype like Tesla or Gamestop

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the_dunk_tank

!the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net

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It’s the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances’ admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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