So I thought I had figured myself till now. But I was clearly wrong…
So the last few days have been incredibly confusing as I reflected on my gender identity. I’m definitely a boy, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t want to go by any pronouns except he/him. The they/she stuff simply isn’t me.
I don’t want to dress up in a feminine manner (I don’t think I would be comfortable in skirts and thigh highs and what not…). Like… I haven’t tried that yet, but I really doubt I would be much interested in it. I like my current wardrobe.
HOWEVER, I want a feminine-ish body. Like… not boobs or anything. I find boobs quite repulsive. BUT I would definitely love to have a more feminine butt/dick. I like tucking, WHILE loving my dick.
I hate body hair/facial hair. The only place that I like hair on is my head. And while my hair is long-ish, it isn’t girl-like long. Like… the intention is not to look like a girl.
I dunno, it’s weird I suppose… Here’s one way to put it. If estrogen didn’t give me boobs, I would LOVE to take it. I would love to have a higher voice, better head-hair, and a girlier butt and dick. BUT I would still identify as a male while being in male-like clothes.
What the hell am I? I’m definitely not trans. I don’t think I’m a femboy, as I would hate doing makeup/wearing skirts n stuff. I’m so confused.
Oh, and I’m gay if that’s relevant.
It does sound like you might be a femboy, not all femboys are into fem clothes but you could also be Nonbinary, there are NonBinaries who still use he/him.
There’s only so far labels can take you. Each aspect of gender is it’s own spectrum. Some aspects of gender can fall completely towards the male side, others can fall completely towards the female side. Understanding yourself means understanding all those different parts, and labels are just a way to summarize to make it convenient to share with others.
First off, you’re valid!
And more seriously, as others have mentioned, you may be nonbinary!
You are you, and only you can say who that is, because gender is altogether just a collection of recognizable brands that are each subject to change from time to time and place to place.
You can wear one of these brands now if it suits you, and still change your mind later if you feel like it, or confound the branding entirely by arranging your own style. It really is up to you.
What’s the significance in defining yourself this way? Why do you need to create a (pointless?) category? I don’t see how this impacts your life.
Right now, I don’t have anyone to share this experience with. I know I’m not alone, but I can’t just find people like myself by repeating the post above over and over again, can I? That’s why categories exist, so that you can describe stuff in less words.
