I’ve been fighting off writing this for a while now. I even considered making a throwaway for it, but I guess if its too embarrassing I can delete it.
I’ve sorta come to accept I’m bi in recent years, and I am wondering how I should go about dating and courtship in regards to dating within my same sex (male). Especially since I find femininity to be a key attraction point. I also haven’t dated or had sex in like, three years or more. Its been a while, I kinda stopped caring for myself and focused on work, I am slowly trying to become an interesting person again, get back in shape but its hard. I dunno, man. I’m in my mid-30s and I am trying to figure out what I want out of the world. There’s a bit of lust involved. And I definitely need a hug at the very least.
Furthermore, I live in the Southern part of the US, and the amount of trans hate has me actively wanting out of here (I’m aiming for Colorado) and dating in this part of the Southeast is already difficult as is, in my prior experiences.
How does one navigate this kind of world after coming out? How do I deal with the stigma especially since in the states, there’s a renewed interest in putting people back in the closet?
From Texas, also gay AF. If it’s lust, try an app. Find a chill dude who’s ok with your speed and your experience, work your way up to stuff. Or if you’re less timid, there are plenty of guys that are really into no strings attached.
As far as dating? Surely there is a gay bar within 30 miles at least. That’s a decent start. If not, go do things you like doing. Watch out for any guys you fancy giving you eyes. Worst case scenario, you made a friend. Can’t do socializing stuff or are big groups intimidating? Well, at least you can chat with a few interesting people in your area on apps to see what the local scene is like.
If you can help it? Move to the biggest city in your state. Or fully out of the south? Lol. Idk. I’m trapped in Texas.
Edit: Also, having a dog/plants attracts some of the more stable guys. Lol. All the hotties like a Plant and/or Dog Daddy.
Not homosexual, but have noticed that all of my friends in same sex relationships have gotten together via apps. This is in Australia though, so the culture may be quite different from the US.
I dont have any advice, but this is well written, i like how you phrased things and i hope you find your person/people/hug. Good luck.
It’s hard to delete from the fediverae, FYI
Big hug.
Unfortunately I cannot help directly as I’m a cis male that has lived in NYC, LA, and SF Bay Area the last 25 years.
Even in progressive locations there are establishments that are not. I suggest trying to find places you would be comfortable in. That may be a gym, coffee shop, or bar. Make conversation and get a feel for the place.
There is a local dive bar I frequent that is very LGBTQ friendly. Last night my wife and I talked to a transsexual woman (she shared this info) for almost an hour about what happens to donated body parts. She then took off to her friend’s place.
