cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/803244
the colleague in question feels that only her way of doing things is the right one and expects me to adapt to her way of thinking and her logic. This is tiring and burdensome because I have to force me to stop doing things automatically and efficiently, but think how she wants it done and do it her way. I work worse when this happens.
There are several ways to reach the same goal and I always adapt according to the situation at hand. I do what feels logic at the time and work my way.
I already told the charge nurse charge about it but I don’t know if she had a conversation with this coworker and what was said.
The message has to be neutral and polite. What do you think of this?
I feel you believe you are my boss. You are not. Stop telling me how to work. It’s tiring. You have your way of doing things, I’ve got mine, both equally good. Should you have a problem with this, contact the charge or manager. I’m gonna go work now.
First, Ask the colleague why she feels her way is better.
If she says something like “it just is”, reply that while you’re open to other ways to do things, you have a way that currently works for you, and would need a reason to switch your workflows.
If she gives an actual answer, consider it. Maybe it is better than what you’re use to. maybe it’s possible to incorporate both ways to have the best of both worlds. Assuming you still think you way is better, say something along the lines of (I’m basing this on something I said to a co-worker in order not to be too abstract): “I get that doing it your way [is simpler and requires less troubleshooting], but it can also [give wrong results if a thing changes and we forget to correct for it]. My way [corrects for it automatically]. For me, eliminating the risk of [forgetting to manually correct] is worth the need to [do some troubleshooting]. Maybe that’s because you have [better memory] and I’m better at [technical stuff], so we each have a way that works for us, but will not work for the other. I appreciate that you took the time and explained your way of thinking, and I hope you understand why my way is better for me”.
After that, if she still insists, tell her you clearly aren’t able to come to an agreement among yourselves, so maybe it’s better you both talk to the charge nurse if manager or whatever.
Yeah. I’ve tried to create a culture in my group where people can recommend to others a better way to do things. This includes people reporting to me showing me how to do things better.
OP may have a good reason for doing things their own way, but if “it is easier for me” causes increased error or time to complete, I’m not going to be happy as a manager.
Sometimes a simple “No” works wonders.
Is the end result the same? Sometimes the right process gets better end results. Especially if you’re a new hire, it’s worth considering doing it their way just out of humility.
I feel you believe you are my boss. You are not. Stop telling me how to work. It’s tiring. You have your way of doing things, I’ve got mine, both equally good. Should you have a problem with this, contact the charge or manager. I’m gonna go work now.
This is an extremely aggressive way to speak to someone. It’s a little wild that this is what you came up with trying to be neutral and diplomatic. Genuinely makes me question if you’re understanding this person and your role correctly.
If you’re certain that doing it your way is just as good then I recommend the following message:
Hi [person’s name]! I wanted to thank you for your help getting me situated into this new role at [company name]. I really appreciate the difficulties of integrating a new team member, and I want you to know I’m 100% committed to doing good work together.
My personal experience with projects like these involves a work flow that looks more like [x, y, z], and the clients that I’ve worked for using this process were always happy with the results. The process you showed me where it’s [a, b, c] doesn’t make as much sense to me, perhaps we can schedule some time to go over why it’s more effective doing it [a, b, c] rather than [x, y, z]? Otherwise, just for the sake of completing the project ASAP I would prefer using the way I have more experience with.
Happy to discuss this with you further at anytime and excited about the great things we’ll be making together 😁
That’s a bullet proof corporate email any manager would take a look at and know you’re not the problem.
It’s a little wild that this is what you came up with trying to be neutral and diplomatic.
that’s why this post is titled ‘can you help me…?’
Genuinely makes me question if you’re understanding this person and your role correctly.
I only know she’s not my boss and my role is the same as her.
I don’t understand why you believe you know my role better than me.
I wouldn’t do this over email. To be effective, the message has to be said next time she feels entitled to ‘correct’ me.
but, just my 2 cents
I only know she’s not my boss and my role is the same as her.
They’ve been in the role longer than you have, that gives them seniority over you.
I don’t understand why you believe you know my role better than me.
You’ve been purposely vague about your role so I am left to make a best guess.
I wouldn’t do this over email. To be effective, the message has to be said next time she feels entitled to ‘correct’ me.
You should do it over email so there is a written record and no miscommunication. You could even CC your supervisor if you wajt to play hardball.
Your currently strategy is to snap at her the next time she annoys you. Not a good look for a new hire.
“It’s great you’ve found a way that works for you, I do it a little differently which works great for me”, smile and leave.
First question: is there a documented Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) you or she is breaking?
If there is an SOP, follow that and only that. When coworker complains, point to the SOP and tell her that you’re following the SOP and will let management know that she isn’t. If you’re not following the SOP and the coworker is trying to get you to follow it, then start following the SOP. Those often exist for very good reasons. If there is no SOP, and it’s something which needs to be done regularly and might impact either life-safety or business operation if it’s not done correctly, then see if management is open to documenting the procedure and creating an SOP. Offer to lead the effort.
Second question:
The message has to be neutral and polite.
Why?
“If you would like to do it, I would be happy to let you. Until then, please fuck off and let me do my job.”
