cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/803244
the colleague in question feels that only her way of doing things is the right one and expects me to adapt to her way of thinking and her logic. This is tiring and burdensome because I have to force me to stop doing things automatically and efficiently, but think how she wants it done and do it her way. I work worse when this happens.
There are several ways to reach the same goal and I always adapt according to the situation at hand. I do what feels logic at the time and work my way.
I already told the charge nurse charge about it but I don’t know if she had a conversation with this coworker and what was said.
The message has to be neutral and polite. What do you think of this?
I feel you believe you are my boss. You are not. Stop telling me how to work. It’s tiring. You have your way of doing things, I’ve got mine, both equally good. Should you have a problem with this, contact the charge or manager. I’m gonna go work now.
I would say something like:
Thanks for the ideas, [person’s name]! I have found another way that allows me to get the same to outcome that is quicker for me. To keep things moving efficiently, I recommend that we each use our own techniques. If they clash at any point, we can discuss how to work though that when it comes up. Cool?
Consider the possibility that your way is causing issues somewhere before you have this conversation otherwise you sound really tonedef.
Top of my head something like “I appreciate your input however I prefer to handle things in my own way. Both our methods are efficient and can coexist. If you do have concerns, please direct it at our supervisor. Thank you for understanding.” But I would wait for more answers first just to get more feedback
Edit: in case things do escalate for whatever reason do yourself a favor and keep copies of your communications with her. Just document everything
“I don’t answer to you.”
Maybe more blunt: Please stop interrupting my work.
“Thanks for your interest, but I’m not looking for input on my work process.”
In a creative field you should always invite input - but that doesn’t mean you should allow your creativity to be constantly overriden.
As a software developer I remember the day I told my client no, I wasn’t going to do it his way. It felt so good, and our relationship was much better after that.
Before that, my decision was that because he was cutting the checks it was his call.
But that day, I just drew a new boundary for myself: I’m not doing bad work.
(In our case, the “bad work” was always some shortcut that I knew would cause tech debt or maintenance issues later on, because my client didn’t want to spend money near term)
