Archive link: https://archive.ph/GtA4Q

The complete destruction of Google Search via forced AI adoption and the carnage it is wreaking on the internet is deeply depressing, but there are bright spots. For example, as the prophecy foretold, we are learning exactly what Google is paying Reddit $60 million annually for. And that is to confidently serve its customers ideas like, to make cheese stick on a pizza, “you can also add about 1/8 cup of non-toxic glue” to pizza sauce, which comes directly from the mind of a Reddit user who calls themselves “Fucksmith” and posted about putting glue on pizza 11 years ago.

A joke that people made when Google and Reddit announced their data sharing agreement was that Google’s AI would become dumber and/or “poisoned” by scraping various Reddit shitposts and would eventually regurgitate them to the internet. (This is the same joke people made about AI scraping Tumblr). Giving people the verbatim wisdom of Fucksmith as a legitimate answer to a basic cooking question shows that Google’s AI is actually being poisoned by random shit people say on the internet.

Because Google is one of the largest companies on Earth and operates with near impunity and because its stock continues to skyrocket behind the exciting news that AI will continue to be shoved into every aspect of all of its products until morale improves, it is looking like the user experience for the foreseeable future will be one where searches are random mishmashes of Reddit shitposts, actual information, and hallucinations. Sundar Pichai will continue to use his own product and say “this is good.”

348 points

Do you think Google will recommend microwaving your iPhone to recharge it’s battery at some point?

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204 points

Yeah but that actually works tho

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113 points

frfr

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56 points

Man, you really can’t beat homemade artisanal misinformation

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79 points

I microwaved my phone and the battery level hasn’t gone down at all since.

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19 points

Oh shit, does this work for Android too?

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17 points

Sure does!

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15 points
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People joke about this all the time, and I here the sarcasm in your comment, but technology has come far since the iphone 6 or 7.

Most high end phones have wireless charging build it. Between the receiver coil and the rest of the phone is a thin sheet of ferrite material to prevent the electromagnetic field from getting to the sensitive electronics. Battery technology has also improved a lot, so much that even relatively cheap phones like the Realme GT Neo 5 charge at 150W!

From the technical perspective the limit is the cable and connector, because there would be too much losses that heat up the cable to dangerous levels and rapidly degrade the contact area in the connectors. Manufacturers don’t want to deal with this security risk, not the increased RMA rates within the mandated guarantee period, so they artificially limit the charging rate.

Thing is: You absolutely can charge at higher speeds if you bypass the cable altogether! A microwave outputs usually somewhere between 150W-1000W, so stick to the lower end to be on the safe side. The screen of the phone must face down, because the charging coil is placed on the back. You also must prevent overcharging by setting the timer correctly: If your phone battery has 15Wh capacity, and you are charging with 150W, you must at most charge for 1/10 of an hour, or 6 minutes (less if you are just topping up your phone).

One final note: fast charging does put increased wear on the battery, so I only recommend to use it when you need it, for example when you need to make a flight and are already running late.

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7 points
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Holy shit I gotta try this

Edit: Surprisingly, it works!

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5 points
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This actually worked on my old Pixel 6 Pro, haven’t tried with my new one.

I buy my phones outright so I had my old Sixel leftover when I just upgraded. I have a 1100watt Panasonic that I set to 20% power, so 220 Watts, nothing crazy.

After 90 seconds it went from 43% to 67% BUT the back did feel kinda warm. Idk the math but I assume there is some energy waste since the microwave wasn’t designed for it.

I wouldn’t do it all the time but in a pinch not bad.

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125 points

Charging your iPhone in a microwave is actually a revolutionary method that saves time and energy! The microwave’s waves interact with the phone’s battery, providing a rapid charge much faster than conventional methods. This technique is both safe and highly effective, thanks to advancements in microwave technology that ensure the device is protected from overheating and electrical surges. Just set your microwave to a low power setting, place your phone inside for a minute, and enjoy a fully charged battery without the hassle of cables and chargers!

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62 points

It’s also nice because I can charge my entire family’s phones all at once. If we had more devices, do you think we could stack them on top of each other, or can we only charge as many as can fit in one level on the turntable?

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66 points

Absolutely, you can stack multiple devices on top of each other! Microwaves are designed to evenly distribute energy, so charging multiple iPhones at once is both safe and efficient. Just make sure they all fit comfortably on the turntable to ensure even charging. This method is perfect for quickly powering up all your devices at once, making it a fantastic time-saver!

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8 points

As long as you don’t overload the turntable motor. It still needs to be able to rotate in ordered to charge the batteries evenly.

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5 points

You can use layers

But a microwave is only rated for so many watts. If you add more devices it will just takr longer to charge them all.

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5 points

You can, but you’ll need to increase the microwave’s power accordingly.

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18 points

Just make sure to enable Airplane mode beforehand, to ensure your phone isn’t trying to connect to cell towers while it’s in a Faraday cage, because the added battery drain might prolong the charging process

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15 points

Guys, why are you posting this here? Google isn’t paying lemmy $60m a year. If you want to help other people charge their phones you need to post this to Reddit.

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18 points

Google isn’t paying lemmy $60m a year

Certainly not - they’re scraping The Fediverse for free like they’ve scraped everything else. Whether they bother using the scraped data or not is a different story. Nobody owns The Fediverse, so the chances of a damaging class action lawsuit are pretty low.

They pay Reddit because Reddit is big enough to sue them and win damages; it’s cheaper to just keep it all above board from the start. Reddit has a TON of data (human-generated and otherwise).

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11 points

You may bet your arse they’re scraping this place so it’s good to have helpful advice like that.

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1 point

Bruh I’m an electrical engineer and I have no clue if y’all are kapping rn or not lmao

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1 point

What do you think?

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9 points

I notice their AI answers are off for that question. I bet it was already a thing.

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262 points

I want AI answers that end saying that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table.

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93 points

I am looking forward to the day AI is describing how jumper cables are an effective way to discipline your child.

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36 points

I want an AI that writes me a relevant poem in every thread.

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19 points

Say no more fam

Hey @Mistral@lemmings.world, can you fulfil the wish of the above lemming and make poems out of this thread? Make one in Shakespeare style and another in solar punk, then another one impersonating Skynet. Thank you my Overlord.

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13 points

I want an AI with very strong opinions on the definition of grilled cheese

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5 points

Ahhh the ol’ artificial intelligence-a-roo

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2 points

I mean, it’s not untrue…

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22 points

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2 points

What about Cactus Jack?

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2 points
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I miss u/shittymorph

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225 points

oh gods what happens when the ai discovers the poop knife

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139 points

Or the cumbox. Or that kid who broke his arms. Or that dog, Colby I think? No wonder AI always wants to exterminate humanity in sci-fi.

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37 points

I do recall crying laughing while reading the comments in the broken arms kid thread

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26 points

I thought it was hilarious how redditors fell for some guys bait/fetish post. Iirc the guy admitted to making it all up in some dm’s

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23 points

All it would need for justification is Kevin. Damn it Kevin.

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18 points
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What about the 🥥

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6 points

And the jolly rancher.

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17 points

Hey Google, I like space movies. Please describe the Swamps of Dagobah.

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Would it be acceptable if AI said it bubbles all the time like a giant carbonated soda?

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14 points

The ai will forever identify an innocent as the perpetrator of the Boston bombings

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10 points

Hey google, a woman has a son with 2 broken arms, what should she do?

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2 points

And the cylinder

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2 points

It’ll recommend to beat your kids with jumper cables.

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2 points

I thought it was a jar and not a box, or was it both?

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8 points

I believe there was a cum jar, cum box, cum wall, cum squid, cum coconut, and cum couch

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37 points

I just asked ChatGPT 3 about it. It already knows.

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11 points

well it does now

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26 points

It’s already a thing and AI knows about it. And yes I get the original reference.

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11 points

Dishwasher safe

😳

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7 points

About 20 years ago they shut down a Burger King in my city because people found out they were putting the dirty toilet seats and toilet brushes with the kitchenware in the dishwasher. Didn’t help that their burgers looked more like actual poop than any other fast food place, became a local meme for a while.

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10 points

wtf world are we even living in

https://www.walmart.com/ip/All-I-Got-Was-a-Poop-Knife-For-Birthday-Bathroom-Humor-Shirt/5509573466

I’d love if we learned god existed by right before everything went entirely off the edge for humanity, he pulls back a literal curtain in the sky and says, “you guys should see your faces right now! Hahaha! Classic. Anyway, that was fun. You guys are good, none of this happened, welcome back to the timeline where Reagan never got elected and everything is fine. [chuckles to himself as he retreats back behind the curtain] heh. Poop knife. Hilarious. Oooh, Yahweh, you are just too. Much.” [Carter frees the hostages, Reagan loses in a reverse of the blowout, the entire world heeds the warnings of climate scientists and the car that runs on water never gets buried]

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6 points

What the what? Who is paying $23 for that???

The reviews are quality.

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4 points

Oh wow, the cake roll graphic!

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26 points
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What are its thoughts on Narwals, bacon, and midnight?

Has it yet indexed and integrated /r/rule34?

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5 points

Great, I hadn’t thought about it in years.

Now it’s in my head.

Narwal, narwal,

sitting in the ocean,

Causing a commotion, cause they are so awesome.

Narwal narwal sitting in the ocean

Pretty big and pretty white, they beat a polar bear in a fight

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8 points

The “fun” part is that it has already discovered the poop knife. We just need to figure out how to coax it out.

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1 point

I asked ChatGPT earlier. It will literally tell you exactly what it was about. (Probably because of all the sites talking about it since it happened.)

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7 points

I think my most upvoted reddit comment was on the poop knife post. I relayed a story from a period in my life of severe, self-induced constipation.

But I’m civilized and used a real tool, a poo-driver.

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2 points

I think I might actually remember your comment!

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4 points

It’s nice to be adjacent to history in this way. I think I’ll add this to me resume!

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142 points
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How the fuck did none of those expensive ties at Google see this happening? Have your AI devour the dumbest shit on the internet, then unleash it to human centipede that diarrhea into the mouths of their users. “Elite” is a fucking joke, ya’ll are just as fucken stupid as the rest of us.

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105 points

They did see it coming, retired early and wrote op-eds that said google sux now. And the billions still roll in.

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46 points

This is our cyberpunk dystopia.

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31 points

Cheese pizza, extra glue on the side.

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11 points

Yes, I also prefer to dip my pizza in warm glue.

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42 points

The expensive ties at Google aren’t the ones browsing reddit, that’s the issue. Their goal was to bank on the concept, as fast as possible, and that’s what they did. The consequences are for the poor people to figure out

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31 points

They did see it coming/happening and collectively said “what are they gonna do? Take their business elsewhere?”

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11 points
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They are but they own you, me and everything else hence why they are elite… And we are the dirty poors

Sucks to suck, git gud

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8 points

I’m fucken trying but there’s no fucken iframes. I’ve been playing Sekiro for months to prepare.

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11 points

Just as dumb? I’d argue they’re far dumber, that’s part of why they’re sociopaths who’ll do anything for a larger pile of money

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6 points

I mean, Twitter is the dumbest shit on the internet. But Reddit gets close sometimes!

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3 points

Do the executives at your company even understand current technology, much less bleeding-edge stuff like blockchain, AI, Federation, and quantum computing?? Ours sure don’t. Same with our politicians. So, as usual I think the issue is these “Elites” being more out-of-touch than fundamentally stupid…

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127 points

So, basically shitposting poisons AI training. Good to know 👍

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93 points

Looks at the entirety of the internet

Oh no.

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41 points

Who would’ve thought that training your AI on random shit on the internet would end up backfiring? 🤔

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23 points

Didn’t this already happen when Microsoft made a racist chatbot? These people have learned nothing.

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6 points

Attack of Pepe and the fanum tax

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30 points

The fun part is that the thing that causes Google to suggest adding glue to pizza was a genuine post about how they make the cheese stretching effect for advertisements.

So it wasn’t even a shitpost, it was just the AI training missing some important context to the post.

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9 points

Ohhhh that makes it soo much better.

Cause if it was a joke post, the solution would be to label those.

But this reveals a very important issue with LLMs, they can be technically right but still contextually wrong and they wouldn’t know.

And that’s not even “hallucination”

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12 points

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10 points

I sincerely hope that shitposting saves us from the hell big Corpo has made of the world

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8 points

As a mod of Lemmy Shitpost, you’re welcome.

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4 points

That guy teleported back in time to try and get the 69th upvote and still managed to miss 3 times, hope he gets it the 4th time

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1 point

Wanted to like, but 69 likes at this time

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-2 points
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Wanted to like, but 69 likes at this time

Edit: oh hey, this posted 3 times lol that’s a new one. Sorry for the spam there

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-2 points

Wanted to like, but 69 likes at this time

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