167 points

Even if this image were real, and it was provable that it was the biblical Goliath, how in the fuck does that have anything to do with disproving evolution lol

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119 points

Christians: "Well, you see, God was right because the Bible was proved true. That’s why it disproves your silly science.

The Bible contains everything about life! If it’s not in there, it doesn’t exist!"

People: “Show me where in the Bible it has kangaroos.”

Christians: “We’re being oppressed!”

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26 points

I absolutely love it when the crazy Christians try to pull the “If it’s not in the Bible, it doesn’t exist!” thing because at that point most everything they use on an every day basis must all be fictional things that don’t exist.

Internet? Not in the Bible.

Smart phones? Nope.

Cars? Not a chance.

Facebook? Haell No.

TV? They wish.

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12 points

Or they give you one of these “what year is?” “2024” “2024 what?” "AD: “and what does AD stand for?”

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5 points

Wow is that really a thing? So dumb.

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118 points

“Finally found some credible evidence”

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25 points

Seymour! Your pants are on fire!

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27 points

Haha, no mother. It’s just the Northern Lights.

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87 points
*

Fun fact: If (big if) Goliath really existed, he was probably suffering from acromegaly. It is characterized by a person not stopping to grow after puberty. The reason for that is an enlarged, tumorous pituary gland in the brain. So David hitting Goliath between the eyes might actually have ruptured the tumour, leading to internal bleeding in his brain and killing Goliath.

So the whole biblical story might be based on something that actually happened and then probably got more and more dramaticised every time it was told.

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75 points
*

It could also be based on any random tall dude dying from getting hit in the face by a flying rock, rare medical condition or not.

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57 points

Or maybe getting hit in the head by a rock launched from a sling is enough to make a person’s head basically explode.

Seriously, a competent sling user can easily kill someone with one.

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19 points

I found a quick little video demonstration of a guy using a sling and stone against a ballistic gel head.

Just judging off of that, I would agree that weird tumors would not need to be involved for a sling to kill a large fellow.

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3 points

That was nauseating when he pulls the would d back even though it’s gel. Thank you for the video

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52 points

Hitting someone square in the forehead with a rock, in the Bronze Age, was a quick way to kill them regardless of size. There’s a reason this image

is both iconic and incredibly triggering to the IDF. You whip that thing around hard and fast enough, and you’re going to crack a head.

So the whole biblical story might be based on something that actually happened

I don’t find the story of a young, spry soldier with a bit of luck and some good aim thwacking a rival warlord with a rock implausible in the slightest. Its all the propaganda packed in around the story, what with David having some sort of euphoric epiphany and the rock being magicked by God to score the killing blow, that causes folks to roll their eyes in disbelief.

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9 points
*

Also he totally fought a lion before he went up against Goliath. David was a bigger badass than Goliath the entire time

Can you tell me more about that picture?

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6 points

Also, I think I’ve heard that shepards would be skilled with a sling.

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6 points

It makes sense, hanging out in a field all day with nothing to do but flip rocks at stuff, you’d git gud quick.

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4 points

Goddamn that picture is SICK

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3 points

It really is an incredibly powerful image. I’m a bit shocked I somehow hadn’t come across it before.

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35 points

It probably isn’t even all that dramatacized,

It is not hard at all to do serious damage with a genuinely made sling, there’s a reason people wielding those things operated as a military unit in ancient times, and they were pretty mean spirited folks too!

They’d actually write insults and jokes on the stones like “CATCH ME!”, “HEADS UP!” “OUCH!” “BONK!”

Basically the historical inaccuracies would be in terminology rather than exact action, and also in David not following the shot up with “THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS!”

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12 points
*

Imagine being a 6ft dude and some little bastard pulls out a gun and shoots you dead while the town cheers about that how courageous that little shit is.

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6 points

Wait a minute… were ancient slingshot mercenaries basically the Scout from TF2?

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6 points

The Bible isn’t real.

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3 points
*

I’m thinking, since it wasn’t written down until centuries after it supposedly happened, that the most likely answer is that it was just bullshit.

The closest evidence we have to David even existing is a tablet caved by someone who [may have] claimed to be of the House of David.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tel_Dan_stele

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6 points

Oral history is significantly more accurate than you’re making it out to be.

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0 points

There is no reason to assume oral history with no corroborating evidence is true and the lack of corroborating evidence is good reason to be skeptical.

The entire Bible is oral history. I assume you don’t place similar validity in the Garden of Eden and the Tower of Babel.

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1 point

big if

Huehuehue

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80 points

lol how is goliath proof for creationism. it’s just some big rando. this is so silly

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37 points

Is wine not proof of creationism? Pretty sure there was wine in the bible and I’ve definitely seen wine irl. Checkmate.

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1 point

Wine didn’t exist until Jesus got tired of water and wanted to catch a buzz.

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14 points

God created one very big dude one time specifically so that his Prophesized God-King could bean the giant in the head with a big rock. We know this to be true because of this definitely real and serious image of a big fossilized human skull.

If evolution were real, we’d have an entire genetic lineage of giants running around. But we don’t, because no other very absolutely credibly real super-sized skulls have ever appeared in a picture before.

So, checkmate Atheists.

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4 points

If anything, i think a giant human would impy evolution. People don’t grt that big anymore, so like they evolved to a smaller size

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51 points

At 7 cubits tall his skull would still not be that big. They should have claimed it was a nephilim skull instead.

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25 points

7 cubits = 3.2m = 10.5ft

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17 points

10.5ft = 10’ 6"

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16 points

10’ 6" = 1.8806 Smoots

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