Wait, my 6th grade English teacher was a racist? That explains a lot.

Stop telling me what to do, Mom!

It’s the road crew lights that the Vogons put up whenever they are about to put in a new hyperspace bypass.

Has anyone seen my towel?

The flaw in your scenario is if he gets elected again, he won’t leave (willingly).

*his garden

I, for one, welcome my new Maple Syrup Overlords, eh.

Evolution is working.

When you see them next, immediately greet them in a heavy Brooklyn accent. When they ask you what that’s all about, apologize profuse in a thick Nawleans cajun accent. When this is met with blank stares from your friends, immediately rush into another apology, this time with your best MinneSEWta flavor. After they finally come out of their stunned silence, revert to a generic American accent. They’ll never notice.

No kink shaming.

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”